My Future Wife
I hope this finds you well wherever you are. That wish is in the hope that this letter shall swirl all through the web space to bump into you, before or after we marry. The reason I have decided to write this to you is just to inform you of our marriage expectations, what I expect of you and what to expect from me. I do pray albeit imaginatively that I will stumble upon you soon, that is if I haven’t already. And even if my eyes have graced your beautiful self, then I am certain we have made no such a deal that would result in signing the matrimonial papers to start our long life journey. Before that happens, I would love you to know a few things.
Once we marry I shall be, or rather expected to behave all the times, both in your absence and in your presence. I must always behave in a manner befitting a married man. I have enough respect for marriage, and no way will I voluntarily decide to have one and be a disgrace to it. I have no such plan. I’d rather not bother to marry then. I promise to uphold the respect and integrity of the institution.
I will always love you and cherish you. I promise not to make you my punching bag at any given time. I am already learning how to keep my hands and kicks chilled after being pissed off completely. That is for your sake and. My prayer is that you too shall be a symbol of joy, happiness and love in our house. An element of sobriety and dialogue. An eye that sees the right direction, even when mine happen to be losing focus in that direction. I expect us to always communicate and try to solve anything pointing to be an issue of disharmony in our union. That is the least I would be craving to come home for on a daily basis for the rest of my life.
I do not believe I will be a hard man to love and to live with. To uphold the respect and integrity of today’s marriage, I will always ensure am home in time either to give you company or to help you in basic house chores. Once we sire kids, I will be an ever-present dad and husband. I will come home early to play with them. Once in a while when the kid is being a nuisance at the middle of the night, I will wake up and go with her/him to the sitting room to play a game, or watch until s/he is calm. You don’t have to be worried that you shall be taking the kid to hospital by your own. No. I promise to be by your side all the time. In short, I expect to raise the kids together with you, helping in every way possible. I however expect you to play a larger role in shaping the spiritual nature of our kids. I won’t interfere with you on that, may be even myself I expect some input from you to change me to a different spiritual being. In simple terms, that points my preference of liking you be a believer of some higher being.
I may not be home early all the days, but those few and I say very few, the reasons will be well-known to you and if not I shall always ensure I have made them known to you in advance. I therefore do pray you will understand.
I have no intention or plan to be an idle man in my free time, which is from 5pm after job assuming I will be still an employee, or during weekends. I will always be up to something positive. In class may be, or catching up on some personal genuine business. That is time when most evils have their way in leading men astray. I will avoid creating such an avenue.
However, I do hope you won’t be extra-possessive so as to never let me have my own life once in a while. Sometimes I may hang out late for reasons you’d deem not worth, please let me request your understanding as early as now. I know we shall marry at the height of feminist movements, at a time when if I stay out into the wee hours of the night today tomorrow you too might do the same. A time when if the last holiday we visited my mum in the rough terraces in the banana farms in Kisii, next time you may expect us to visit your mum too. That is what radical feminist call equality. I however pray you won’t be one. To be specific, do not make our marriage look like a competition. That shall be a recipe for its destruction. Rest assured I shall never use such an opportune to cheat on you. Anything that will lead me to unfaithfulness is what I shall always sacrifice and avoid. I will make big decisions in my life, but the one to marry you will be the boldest, most courageous and probably best. I will make every sacrifice to make it a worthwhile always.
I offer to be ready to forgo anything that shall make me irresponsible in my marriage, or at least to meeting my core family responsibility like paying bills and generally being the man of the house, solving any issue that may emerge. I have no intention of making you beg for that too.
I expect to be spending much of the weekends with you. You better be such a fun person to hang out with. In fact you have to be. Am allergic to boring beings. I need someone who can read humor in the most unexpected places, or things hehe.
You have to be beautiful. That goes without saying. I do not buy the phrase that ‘love is blind’. That phrase was invented for birds and the naughty humans adopted it for themselves. You however need not to worry thereafter, after I marry you I won’t pressure you to be anything you aren’t. If you unluckily get involved in an accident (God forbid) and get disfigured, or say some steam takes away all your beauty. You shall still be my wife. I won’t make you feel bad about that fate. I will be a man beside you in each of your struggle. I will always find time to accompany you to hospital whenever sick, if admitted I will vacate from our home to stay with you in hospital. Of course whenever conditions allow……… I will help you undo your hair when you abruptly decide to undo it, even if it’s after Kenya Powerless have decided to descend some darkness on us and you opt to undo it instead of sleeping or sitting idly in the house. I will always be a loving companion beside you.
You have to be sharp, brilliant and intelligent. Ever met someone who takes a day to process, integrate and understand a joke said on Churchill live? That is being brunt and dull. Out of that, I expect you to be my partner in almost every aspect. When decisions out there f**ks me, I expect to come home and consult you. When I can’t decide on my own, or when I can’t gather enough courage to make some decisions, I expect your input to help me with what to do. And that is only a preserve of someone intelligent. Right? I don’t expect someone who says yes to everything I say or/and do, I expect someone who brings in a different perspective to an issue, someone who challenges me. I want to invest my one million in farming, you say, NO. That won’t be the best, I think stocks can bring more returns. And you empirically go on to convince me. I want to purchase property in Nakuru, you just object arguing doing so in Nakuru will be more beneficial. And you don’t shallowly object, you deeply make me see the better side of your preferences.
For the above to be happening, you must be well educated as well as exposed. You must be vastly knowledgeable. Let me drop a bombshell here. I have no intention of marrying you as a house wife no matter how rich I may end up being. And like many men I see today, I have no intention to curtail your progress, or your constant effort to achieve your highest set goals. In fact I want to be part of your struggle. May be am meeting you soon as a student, or as a young lady starting her career, or as a young lady hustling in her own start up. Being such, I do not expect to meet you in vast highlands of Kisii in the endless tea plantations, or walking through the plains in Kano in Nyando or still along the slopes of Mount Kenya doing whatever the shit you might be doing. No. I will probably meet you in this towns, or in some formal setting figuring out how to move to the next level. In regard to that, I shall respect the struggles you have been through to be who you are, and I will consider it totally naive to even imagine that I can stand before you to declare my love for you, my intention to marry you with the intention of curtailing your dreams. I will never present myself as one of the modern insecure man, who considers a woman’s fast progress as a threat to himself. I will be too busy developing myself to mind for that.
If your dream is to be a professor, right before me you will get your PhD and proceed to be one. If you want to be a CEO, I will expose whatever is in my disposal to make you one. I however issue caution that due to my high interest in politics, I wouldn’t surely prefer to present a motion in parliament and the person right on the far end objecting me is my wife. Or while sending a message to the other political side, you will be the one answering me. Hell no. It is my humble request you opt to actively forgo that in case you had an interest. It will also be very unfortunate that as my wife, you will one day inform me of your appointment as a senior govt official and the next balderdash I will be hearing and reading in tabloids and social media is how you are someone’s clande! I will never swallow that. You have other fields to explore, and I will be by your side to move up to its absolute top. I want you to be an absolute role model to our kids, a role model to even your husband, that is myself!
We shall enter marriage both of us new to it (Again, I refute claims that love is blind, and it can make me marry a former divorcee or widow twice my age. No way). That means we both shall be new to the institution, I therefore do not expect it to be a bed of roses, we will have our fair share of struggles. I pray they never be the source of unending troubles but instead something to help us understand ourselves, embrace our differences to continue pushing life forward together. First, we must always use dialogue to resolve our issues. Only at the extreme should we explore other avenues. I will prefer we always seek professional counsel whenever need be. Do not object when I will present that proposal. Professional counselors are the only people who shall tell us a decade or so later, what is causing us trouble now will look very stupid. And thus insist on the essence of going slow on each other.
Before I close I must express my wish that I expect you to be my long life wife. I expect to enjoy life and get old with you, beside you. In our young years we must go out to experience as many magic nature would offer as possible. Until such a time when energy will not be on our side. You better not be too lazy, because I plan to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro with you. Run through the heavy icebergs in Northern Norway with you and still drop down to Chile to cycle hundreds of kilometers through the Atacama Desert. Those are adventurous experiences you must execute with your energy, to experience its magical nature. I hope you aint as lazy as some city light skins…..who are often to lazy to even climb a bed to sleep.
I do one want to say you must be a Manchester United fan, but at least don’t be Arsenal or Chelsea fan. I would love to watch those games beside you, but in case I wont I must be assured of coming to a home to either celebrate the victory or get consolation for the Champions League defeat that has facilitated our exit from the premier competition. No way I will come home to disses.
There is a lot I will want to say, but may be I shall tell you in my next post or one on one once we meet. For now, keep those few in your head as I eagerly wait to meet you.
Yours truly.
Future Loving Husband.