Why It’s Okay to be Single

in #love8 years ago

Are you single? I know you are because you wouldn’t be reading this post if you weren’t.

Do you cringe upon seeing two affectionate lovers kissing or hugging in front of you? Do you ever wonder, upon finding out that your friends are having a baby or are getting married, about what you’ve done with your life? Do you watch romantic films through your personal laptop rather than watch it alone in a cinema?

If you do, then you’re in the midst of what I started to call as “am I gonna stay single forever?” kind of phase, where you long to be with someone although you’re not sure whether it’s fate being nice to you or you being desperate.

I honestly don’t get why people are so desperate to change their status from being single to whatever it is they want it to be. Some even force themselves to someone whom they know, deep inside, don’t deserve them.

Unless you’re already 30 and still single (then there must be a problem with your inner self), there’s really no need to rush.

I’ll give you three independent stories about couples I have read on Wattpad (yeah, I’m still active on Wattpad) that made me realize how complicated being in a relationship is.

  1. Boy meets girl. Girl falls in love. Boy does not (at the time). Girl cries and suffers from the rejection. Girl moves on. Girl founds another boy. They eventually have a relationship. The former boy finds out and “mysteriously” falls in love with the girl. The former boy tries to win back the girl. Girl is confused. The story somehow makes the latter boy a bad person in order to make the girl break up with him and be with the former boy.

  2. Boy and girl are married. They’ve been together for ten years. Somehow, something happens which ends up in them filing a divorce. They don’t have a kid. Boy meets another girl. Girl meets another boy. Girl and boy meets at a friend’s party and they rekindle their romance and realize they might have messed everything up.

  3. Boy meets girl. Boy falls in love. Girl falls back. They live happily ever after.

Do you see the complexity of their lives? Story number 1 is so infuriating. Number 2 is confusing and pretty selfish. Number 3 doesn’t happen in reality. How great it is to be in a relationship is just as worse as it is being tied up, especially with the wrong person.

Unless we know for sure whom fate decides we end up belonging to, we can never be too careful on choosing who we spend our lives with. Don’t be hasty. Don’t be too reliant on signs (because every sign is as good as you want it to be). Don’t put your life before a cliff.

I’ll give you some incentives about being single. These are not limited to the following:

  1. You can save money.

  2. You don’t change yourself to be favored by someone.

  3. No one can judge how you do with your life.

  4. You can’t get hurt.

  5. You don’t waste your time worrying about anything love-related.

  6. You can go anywhere without a curfew (unless you’re a minor, of course).

  7. You can focus on your dreams without distractions.

  8. You can meet other interesting people.

  9. You can have a proper sleep (this is very important).

  10. You are free.

If you still don’t have those I’ve mentioned above even though you’re single, then think of how much worse it would be if you weren’t.

It’s not bad to have an inspiration or two, but what I’m trying to convey to the lot of you is that, it’s not bad being single. It’s okay to be alone and have more time for yourself or your friends or your family (especially your parents because you know you have more time left than them in the world).

We can be complete without a lover or a child or anyone. We get to be happy with the things we consider as happy for ourselves. We don’t need to stoop down to what they say about us, singles, because, who knows, they might have said those things since they envy our lives they used to have.

It’s okay to be single. Don’t be sad about it.

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Im single and it really sucks :'(

Totally get it.. There is huge social pressure to act out the script: married with 2 kids, a dog, a house and a white picket fence and if you don't do that, there's implied judgement that you haven't completed your life. The only benefit I have as a married man with 2 kids and a house (no dog or white picket fence) is that I have seen it from both sides and can see the benefits to both. What you say is true though, being single is and should be totally OKAY!

Hi, it's ok to be single, but love can be a beautiful thing when it's not based on neediness. (I think 'neediness' is the reason some people are "desperate to change their status from being single" :) )
I wrote about it today.