The difference between egoic relationships and true love 💝

True love has no opposite because it arises from beyond the mind and beyond thought.
Real love is as rare as conscious human beings-conscious in the sense of awareness and presence, not just existing.

It is human nature to recognize the negative in a relationship and it be more recognized by others than a positive one. It's also easier to see the negative qualities in your partner rather than yourself in an egoic relationship. Jealousy, possessiveness, the need to be in control, insensitivity, emotional manipulation and so on are all connected unconscious patterns in this type of relationship.

However, when you examine this, it seems normal. The ego will find some reason to make this seem rational. On the positive side, you're in love. 🤔 At first it is deeply satisfying. You feel as though you become more meaningful because someone needs you, wants to be with you, and makes you feel special.

You may notice however, there is a neediness, a clinging to the other. It is almost like a drug. You become dependent on one another. It is as if you're addicted to this person. The possibility that he/she may not be there for you, well that won't be tolerated. That's not living up to your expectations of this person.

This will all escentially lead back into the unconscious habitual thinking and actions of jealousy again, resentment, blaming and accusing, blackmail and so on. Fear of loss fuels this. If your partner actually does leave you, it turns into the ultimate despair. What once was thought to be two people deeply in love becomes the complete opposite. Can true love become the exact opposite in an instant? Was it even love in the first place or an addiction to eachother for a moment?

In my opinion, we have a universal urge to be with someone to feel as though we are connecting and becoming one through love. Unfortunately, when we rush into or stay in an unconscious relationship (emotional, physical, and psychological abuse) it seems to stem from a seed of fear, loneliness, incompleteness, and dissatisfaction.

True love begins with awareness, consciousness, and presence within yourself. The phrase, "to love another, you must love yourself" has truth to it. As long as you are identified with the mind, you only have an external sense of self. You perceieve yourself based off external things that have nothing to do with who you are-your social status, your external appearance, if you're considered and failure of success and so on.

If true love has no opposite, then a love/hate relationship can only exist in an ego fueled physical realm. How can you love someone so intensely, but in a flash show such hate towards them? True love is seeing yourself in another, seeing you are one with that person on an internal level. You do not let the ego steer you into beliefs that this person should live up to everything you think they should be to make a perfect partner and vice versa, but instead you both appreciate yourselves and eachother.

That creates the unspoken deep connection. There is nothing more than a natural, internal, and beautiful love.

I've been with my fiancé for ten years. I was 18 in college and he was 28. We met through friends and were friends at first, but I knew there was something different. It wasn't a physical connection only that I felt from him, but I felt genuine love and compassion from him. We've always respected eachother and if we disagree, it doesn't turn into hate. We just acknowledge sometimes we have different opinions. He's never changed who he was since I met him. Here we are ten years later with eight year old twins, and we look at everything as a positive challenge.

This isn't a love story about me, but hoping you allow yourself to open up to love, true love, and inviting in nothing but happiness. 💖

With love always,
Kristan 💞