Happy Birthday My Son @bxlphabet - I Love You and Miss You so Much

I haven’t seen you for two years, my son, and we don’t get to talk much. We are on opposite time zones and never seem to connect at the right time. The wifi cuts out. I get messages and you get messages.

I always miss you.

I am always so proud of you.

The day you were born was the happiest day of my life. We were always two peas in a pod.

You are 25 years old today, and all I can do is ache.

I am always sorry my obesity and poor health caused your PTSD and caused such struggle.

I’m sorry our work is failing to provide for us.

I wish I was there to hug you.

I wish you were here to hug me.

I’m trying my best to keep us stay in our homes now.

I wish I had more pictures of you.

I treasure the pictures I have.

You are such a quiet thinker. Something is always on your mind.

I miss you, Caleb, and I will do better for both of us.

I love this photo. It’s a time I made you smile.

This is how I see you now. Grainy and on the computer.

You had to go on the bridge walk without me because I was to fat and sick to even try.

You wrote this in 6th grade and sent it to parents in your middle school. I was so proud of your project and I should have read it every day and followed it.

Here we are when you got an award from the city for doing that project. I can't find the pictures from when you get an award from the State for the same thing. I do not look very healthy, fit, or smart about my action, and I am so sorry.

You looking happy on our Hawaii trip, when I fell and broke my face. We tried to keep going and we did, but this scared you so much to find me screaming in a pool of blood.

And here on the second trip, where you were terrified I would fall again. I didn't fall and wondered why you were so scared.

I was at my highest weight when we visited San Antonio. I was sweating from the effort to stand up.

My poke-freak in an appropriate shirt.

Always letting me take pictures and I don't have many of them now.

You were the the most grateful person when I finally got thin.

Listening to your skinny mom.

The last picture of trying not to cry when you took me to the airport to come to Thailand.

I thought this journey would make everything better for both of us. In some ways it has. But is that enough? No.

Happy 25th birthday, Caleb. Stay strong, son. Look to the future. We will succeed. This is going to be the best year you have ever had. I love you, Mom.

Help Us Stay on Steemit

If you would like to help my son @bxlphabet and I stay on steemit, but your upvote is just not enough, here are my wallet and PayPal addresses where I will be so grateful for any help. You can check out my Ulogs for details of our situation. Any input or ideas will be so welcome.

BitcoinCash - BCH

1Bmcyk8Fk9micU3RWjWu3H1P2fvHyj71d6

Bitcoin - BTC

362ncqbi6qJn1daB8mrRrjYYWJ2HwpvcPZ

Dash - DAS

Xs7xdJHeRHRqdwF8RQuo6tPHUdXPm7viZp

Litecoin - LTC

Lhuh274DFkS6CNq4SJjhNem242QYwcTu59

PayPal Thailand:

fitinfun@zoho.com

PayPal US:

astrocay@yahoo.com