Forbidden Space

February 16, 2011
"Vase! Woi! "
The shout from three o'clock was deafening me. I already know very well who it is.
"Why?" I say jutek. "Uh, you first go ahead. Bentar doang kok. "I said to Saras and Dian who look annoyed. Soon they were gone.

"Anu-" Leo said dashed as he scratched his naked nape. "The meeting in Bi Ijah warteg yuk out home?"
"Leo, what?" Leo did not answer. He immediately went away.
"Just dateng wrote!" I shook my head confused.

Leo. He is my best friend. I mean, different from Saras and Dian I just know when I enter high school. Leo is my friend since Ninja Hattori still aired on Indonesian television. Gue and Leo are very close. Even once we fit around the age of four years, we had a bath together.
Leo's attention to me is sometimes excessive. That's one of the reasons that makes me like Leo. AS FRIENDS. Because who is the girl who does not like diperhatiin?
Although I do not know what Leo ajakin I go to Bi Ijah warteg, I still come. Indeed, it's not too serious person Leo baseball. Could he just intend to nge-prank me? But yes bodo is very.



"Bi Ijah see Leo not?" I asked to Bi Ijah, the owner of warteg near the school which is often used as the headquarters of boys to skip school. I'm close enough to Bi Ijah. Probably because most of the debt times yes?
"I'm not. Sit down first, Dek Vasya. "Bi Ijah bargaining while still focusing wiping the table.

I also follow Bi Bi words by sitting at the table of the small warteg corner. I waited almost 15 minutes there, but Leo has not arrived yet. I almost despaired until a call undoed my intention to go home.
"Vasya-Flamingo," without any consideration, I immediately turned my head and found Leo on his knees.
Flamingo. The pink poultry is my favorite animal since childhood, and all I know about it is Leo. I was so happy, Leo joined me calling me Flamingo.
"Le-"
"Do not you want to be my girlfriend?"

Lo know, when Leo said that sentence, my eyes bulging, my blood suddenly hot, and my heart sounds dag-dig-dug. I was so warteg state of the moment, the possibility of my heartbeat sound can be heard.

Hah? What are you doing? "
"Need I repeat?"
"E-baseball!"
"So what's your answer?"

I thought. Although Leo is the type of guy I like, but we are friends. We love each other, but only limited to friends. We do care for each other, but only as friends.
Although I hesitate.

"Leo, we never promise if we will not like each other. How are you doing? "
Bullshit.
"But I can not, Sya. Lo know, I've been waiting for now. When I've dared to reveal to you. "
I also, Leo.
"We're friends, Leo. And it will always stay that way. "
Nonsense.
"So ... you do not want to?" Leo asked with disappointment. I did not give a single answer. I'm just silent, but silence is hinted yes.
Leo was in that position for a while. Kneeling down at me and I was confused about what to do. While we are still in the spotlight there.
"I can really be what you want. I can do it. Just accept me. In the future we can think later. "
I remain determined to resist because I am comfortable with my position as Leo's best friend. Not necessarily the same situation if I became Leo's boyfriend? Well, although there is a little voice in my heart to say yes.

After a few minutes, Leo stood up from his position and went away in a desperate step. And right then, slowly my tears poured down. I should be ready if at any time this happens because friendship between the opposite sex is indeed risky.
Bi Ijah rubs my back to comfort me. But it does not work. I just need an answer. What am I doing right? Do not I regret it later?

After that incident, Leo never came to school again. He does not leave any messages to me. I do not know where he is, how he is, or what he is. But all my questions are not answered because the letter never came until many years later.

February 16, 2017
It's still me. Vasya. Now I'm a student at one of the most famous campuses in Yogyakarta.
Now I'm sitting in a cafe. Reinvigorating the mind from a stack of theses full of pen strokes by the accursed lecturer. Really, it feels like a freshman to be a bitch. Yet. Until a familiar stranger seemed to greet me out there. Incidentally, my sitting position is beside the glass that viewnya directly facing the busy sidewalk.
I tapped the glass to prove my prediction. The boy turned and was surprised to see who it was.
We look at each other long enough. Surely in his mind filled with surprise because so do I. There is little change there. The thin mustache grows over the thick lips and the hair is slightly up to the neck. Different, but more pleasing to the eye than six years ago.

He immediately entered the cafe and came to my table.
"Vasya?" He said still in disbelief.
"Lo in Yogya now?" He nodded then took a seat opposite me.
It was weird to see Leo again after he'd disappeared for years without news. I do not know what word to express my feelings. Maybe some kind of relief, touched, surprised, and happy. Yes, happy.

"Lo remember what my dream campus is?" He said with a grin. "Well, your hair is not tied up again now yes?" He added.
"Yes. Lo also changed, suddenly lost so aja without news. "Leo excited face instantly changed into glum.
"Gue-" Leo broke off. "I'm here because of my Papa's compulsion. He wants me to study harder in Yogya which has many good schools. I'm really sorry for not giving you news. I'm afraid our friendship will break up. "
"Hah? Lo want our friendship does not break? But lo itself that make it break up. A crushed Lo! Yo, these six years I've always haunted the same question hanging from you. Why not send a letter or just love a short message? "
"Because-"
"Because of what?"
"Because I'm afraid I'm hurt again!" I look confused face. "After I shoot you. It was the first time I was sick. Lo is the first one for me, Sya. When you say I've been in love with a girl a few years ago, actually yes. That's you. I keep this feeling very long and I wait for the right moment to express it. So before I leave, I want this feeling revealed, Sya. "I was stunned

"So what's the promise you made of it?"
"It's to cover up my feelings."
After Leo said that, we again dissolved in silence. Now all my questions are answered. But there is one that props. It feels very passionate. Did not Leo want to repeat what he said then?

I have to go, "Leo said.
"Where are you going?"
"Eh-not something important." Is it just my feeling? Did Leo hide anything?
"Where? That's not important anymore I make you? "
"Gue-" he said as if he was not sincere. "Going to La Diamond." I was stunned. What's up to the jewelry store?
"Hah? What are you doing?"
"Meet Farah," she replied curtly. "My fiancee."
Right then, the feeling came. Pain, hate, not willing and all. The emotion mixes and brings a very painful feeling. It's the first time.

"Ma-do you mean?"
"I have to go, Sya." Leo did not answer and stepped into the cafe door.

"Leo!" I called to stop Leo's step. "I also really love you. More than a friend. "I'm with wet eyes. With one blip, this tear can explode.
Leo is not happy. She was not surprised by the remark. He even replied with a disappointed face.
"Sorry, Sya. But lo bener, indeed we are friends and forever will remain so. "After saying it, Leo immediately moved from there and out of the cafe as if it does not care about me.

There he is. That sentence is the closing of my friendship story and Leo. Ends with shortness and regret. Why did not I and Leo reveal
our feelings each early? But never mind, rice has become porridge. Leo has found the mooring of his heart and can not give me another chance.

If time can be played back. I wish.