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People seem to fall so easily in and out of Love these days. Some of the saddest moments I come across are break-ups or divorce tales, usually of celebrities after a heavily celebrated love affair. I feel love and hate has come to be associated with common actions such as talking or walking. Love runs deeper than that, it is bigger than the urge to have sex or the need for comfort and security. It is supposed to be an all encompassing experience.
Take the love a parent feels for their Offspring. There are no good or bad days, no divorce or break ups, no boredom or wanting out over a minor disagreement, the love endures through thick and thin.
Am not saying couples should stay in an abusive relationship in the name of love, rather my point is before anyone decides they're in love, there's a need to properly scrutinize their feelings.
Eventually, we may need to change the definition of love or redefine what the base of a relationship should be on going forward. Don't spoil love for the rest of us, but hey, am just voicing my opinion here.
This rant was first conceived a few days ago after a couple I idolized decided to call it quits.
Nowadays people break up over the social media or even worse they put posts up of each other together saying how much they love their other half, then you see them in person and it's not the relationship that they make out to be on social media.
And with apps like tinder it's easier to have a one night stand and move on, the meaning of love has changed a lot since 50 years ago, and technology has played a big part.
There is Love as an emotion of affection. Then there is Love as a value. Then there is Love as a need. We all need love but our values are different and our emotions fluctuate, so I do want you to love me, but only if it is out of freeness, please do not do so if it is out of dogmatic belief
Okay, I hope I'm not just ruining this more, but here are some facts that boil it down and might explain why we're heading this way.
The long term feelings of love come from the hormone oxytocin. It's the bonding hormone if you like. It builds up through physical and eye contact and it's what makes it harder when you lose a beloved pet who has been with you for a long time, as opposed to a short time.
Now if you look at our lifestyle where partners work all day, the children need to be taken here and there and we spend more and more time in a virtual world online, we've become like ships passing in the night. We're losing that connecting time and the hormones are fading. This is why I make sure to schedule in family time.
I don't seeing an falling in love. I think the fall is an increasingly rare thing esp. nowadays.