I couldn't handle normal life. Never been a huge fan of it. The loneliness kicked in and then the depression came with it.
So I've been admitted to a women's crisis house until I go away. Am I in crisis? I don't know. Probably. But it goes away when I'm distracted. But we can't live life the whole time being constantly distracted from who we are and how we feel. Doesn't Buddhism teach the opposite? Learning to just be is a massive part of this for me and not being able to go me into the benzo addiction in the first place. Yes I was prescribed them but I knew they were unsafe long term and at the end of the day it was me that said yes.
What on earth am I doing here? It's 5am. I am reducing sleep meds so sleep isn't great. The kitchen opens at 6am and there's biscuits there. 52 minutes to go!
I am glad you are on the journey to your own freedom <3 things will become so much clearer as you break dependency on the benzos. Thinking of you, much love to you xo