Discipline
I am going to be looking at the word discipline.
How I have lived the word discipline in my life has been like a constant battle. There, in my mind, it is clear what I must do in that moment, but it is like walking within and through a world of temptation. The temptation comes from everything in the external environment, and everything of the mind as well. It is internal and external, it is everywhere.
The discipline I am talking about is in the most minute moments. It is whether I lift my hand now, or do I continue holding on? Do I now take a step this way, or do I continue walking straight? And in each of these small moments, I am deciding between what I want, need and desire, or what I know I must do. And each time I choose the want/need/desire, it is comforting, it feels good and it feels ‘right’. And each time I choose what I know I must to do, it is difficult and challenging, and so it requires discipline.
It is so simple, and so clear to see the outflows of each fork in the road, yet I have chosen the path of least resistance so many times! I have come to believe in comfort and ease as the correct way to live and conserve energy, but in reality, that energy is consuming me. I have come to believe the difficult and challenging path is killing me, when in fact it has been making me stronger.
Sounding the word:
Dis C I Plan
Dis-see, I plan
What I see within this sounding is a letting go of what I see through the eyes of my mind as consciousness as the way forward (to dis-see), and instead I plan. ‘I’ as the directive principle of me, ‘plan’ as the blueprint I create for myself to walk. I don’t always know what the exact end goal is, but I do see the self-honesty in the moment, and living self-honestly in each moment is the end goal of each moment.
I will give an update about what this opens up in my moments throughout the day as I live this re-definition of the word ‘discipline’.
Cool Kim, I can recognize myself in your words.