Divorce is increasingly prevalent. Not only happens among artists, former officials, but also society. Call it guitarist Abdee 'Slank', and former Jakarta governor Basuki Tjahaja Purnama who is undergoing the process of divorce with his partner.
Divorce of the two figures was busy public discussion. Case divorce not only complicate the parents, but also children. Their hardest difficulty is seeing their parents separated. Even if you and your partner are no longer married, children will remain a shared responsibility, especially if they are young.
According to a developmental expert from Cambridge University, Michael Lamb, children can thrive if they have a good relationship with their parents even though they are no longer married. In addition, the emotional stability of parents in dealing with divorce will bring good effect to the child. Therefore, family expert and divorce M. Gary Neuman explains the tricks to educate children after you split up with a partner without damaging the child's emotional state as follows.
Do not put pressure on the child
Avoid putting pressure on children when they want to meet or communicate with your ex-spouse. Think of it like taking them off with their om or aunt, not with your ex-husband or wife. That way, the child will not feel stressed as if he should choose between his mother or father. Upon their return, ask general questions like what fun things they do. Read: Winston Churchill's Role for Gary Oldman at Oscars and LoveDo not make children as mediators
Ex-husband and wife often make their children as a bridge of communication, especially when their problems are still not finished. In fact, it triggers the emergence of emotional stress in children by forcing them to intervene in the problems of their parents. If you have trouble communicating, use email because it's more effective to discuss child issues than a phone or short message that can trigger negative emotions. For example, bring up the problem in the past.Take advantage of experts
The role of the therapist is quite important in adjusting your emotions after the divorce. Avoid telling stories about your child's emotional problems or outbursts even if they are adults. Remember, as a child, they have their own conflict about their parents' divorce.Fix your mistakes
As a human being, you definitely have your own inner stress while undergoing the divorce process. Automatically, the child is sometimes the target of your emotional outburst. If that happens, apologize to the child immediately, explain it, and acknowledge your mistake. Then, ask their help to remind you if you are already getting carried away by emotion because of your divorce.Understand the role of the child's condition
Children need to feel understood by their parents. Even if you are facing an inner conflict because of divorce, be a good listener to them. Instead of ordering, try to discuss with the child what to do and drive them.