All my life I am known to the people who know me as someone who is not very outgoing. These posts about me, my family, my hobbies and other topics are really helping me to express myself and also to be more spontaneous and outgoing and I have my friend @felander to thank for bringing me here and showing me this fantastic channel where I can express myself.
‚Be more spontaneous‘
I can be spontaneous, but I purposely choose not to. Well … I don’t know if I could still be spontaneous at my age, but every child is spontaneous and it is circumstances that make them more shy. ‘Don’t touch that, be quiet, sit still, etc’.
Children are taught to behave the way it’s expected of society, however nothing like that had such a big impact on me as being called a ‘f*ing Jew’! As a kid, what had I done wrong and how did my actions impact what has happened in history or even influence what’s happening in Israel. This happened to me on a few occasions and despite people telling me in school and college later that I have a nice smile and should be more spontaneous, I am always on guard. I can’t let it go anymore and I’m also a person that once someone done something to hurt me or lost my trust, then it’s over. I can never treat this person in the same way and they will never fully be able to regain my trust again.
Form your own opinion about me
I hope you who follow me and read my posts regularly have been able to form your own opinions about me, as a person and about my character. The stuff I post here is me, it’s me opening up and being myself. It’s also sharing my experiences and engage with you about these topics.
These experiences have made me to the man I am today. For me engaging with a stranger more than saying ‘Good morning’ is a huge thing. If I see an elder person or pregnant woman on a train, I hope that there’s space for them so that I don’t have to ‘offer’ them my seat. I want to give them my seat, but I don’t want to tell them that they can. Luckily for me, I tend to travel outside peak hours on the public transport, but it does not help me get into these kind of situation, so that I can overcome my shyness.
Thanks to you guys and my chance to open up over here, I am getting over it slowly. I am meeting some fantastic people over here all with their own stories and experiences, troubles and challenges and it helps me a lot to see that I’m not alone and that we talk about these kind of subjects.
Real Life Experience
The other day I had to go shopping for the family. All the time there was this mother with 2 children in my vicinity. She was also ahead of me at the registers and when I went with my shopping trolley to the car I noticed her running around alone, quickly bringing her trolley back to the store and dropping something off at the post office. Her kids she’d probably left alone in the car whilst she finished these little tasks.
When I went to drop my trolley back in the store I noticed that the person who had dropped the trolley in front of me had left their CHF 1 coin in there. As I hadn’t seen anyone else dropping their trolley ahead of me, I assumed it was from this mother with her kids, so when I walked back to my car I had an internal struggle whether I should approach her or not. Off course, if she’d driven off already this would all not be an issue, but I noticed she’d parked 2 spots away from me and she was still there.
The good Samaritan and house father in me of a family on a budget got the better off me and I knocked on her window as she was over the front seat dealing with her kids. I was very conscious of how I might have come across to her, maybe a guy wanting to chat her up, or maybe someone with worse intentions. But when I told her about the coin she was happy that I considered it might be hers, but it wasn’t.
I left her car with a good feeling in my heart and again a step closer to overcoming my shyness.
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to share these experiences with you and to help me overcome my shyness.
Doron
It takes awhile for me to get comfortable with someone before I can open up to them.
I hope my post helps you in any way. Small steps!
Well thanks for being that honest and open with us. A lot of us, more or less have faced shyness in his life. It's not a thing you can change in a while, but everyone can face it with a constant effort and many tries. You gave us a warm feeling that you can do it and in the meantime an encouragement!
Thank you for your support. It's really cool to get these reactions, they also help me to overcome it.
Bravo @wolfje!!
There is an ancient proverb and maybe you know it. It goes like this: "there more happiness in giving than there is in receiving"
It's the little kind things we do in life that really matters. Sometimes no one is aware of what we have done, but that's ok.
It's the satisfying feeling we receive after we have accomplished our good deed.
Thanks for sharing your wonderful experience!
Thanks bud you're absolutely right and I'm very thankful for the things I have, but sometimes it's nicer to be friendly to people or just tell them when you want to offer them a seat. A little friendliness or a smile goes a long way. I keep working on it.
I am glad you overcome your shyness... I'm introverted well. It sometimes takes a whole lot to share... Even to speak to someone. I'm glad to see this has been a positive outlet for that. I hope the same will be true for many new and wonderful community members .
You're right, this is why I also make a point of answering each response and engaging with my friends. It's really helped me a lot and the mutual support and just talking helps a lot, even if its sub-conciously.
I am following you sir, your story is very interesting. I will try to read your every post. shyness is a psychological problem and its with most of the people in our society.
There are some effective techniques to overcome shyness and gain confidence:
Try new things, Engage with everyone, Talk to everyone, Act confidently, even if they make you anxious, Practice displaying confident body language, Make yourself vulnerable, and Be mindful.
I do all those things slowly but surely, but in environments I feel confident in.
Its good that you are getting positive change in it. Keep it on. Best of luck.
Thank you
You will overcome it step by step. I'm sure of it because you seem to really want that, and you are doing something about it. However, I'm very sorry that some pricks damaged you and now you have to work hard to repair yourself... It was so unnesessary and you didn't have to experience that.
Btw, you sound like a genuine and a really kind person. :)
Thanks a lot, words encourage a lot! I feel I'm getting there, one step at a time.
cool that you are opening up and I have known you (a bit) for 2 years but would not really have classed you as shy...
Its cool of you to share this and I think this is really courageous.
thanks
This is probably because you met me under circumstances where I was already settled and more comfortable and following group behaviour and etiquette makes it easier sometimes, but if you'd see me in a new or unfamiliair situation you would know what I'm talking about. You are quite the opposite of me and for me to be around someone like you also makes me more extravert.
glad to be of service...
Very interesting and unexpected... you do not strike me as a shy person at all... Of course, I have a very limited impression of you (only here on Steemit). I dare to say that maybe it is not really shyness but more being the introverted person who is simply just more comfortable in interactions with people whom you know. I am introvert who slowly learned how to live in an extroverted world without suffering the "shyness"part and I really recommend a great book from Susan Cain: Quiet. The book is a fantastic read, but maybe you can see here some main points and tips and tricks that might be interesting for you and persuade you to read the whole book.
Thanks for the tip and yes, it seems I'm more an introverted person. I've read a bit of the book and it appears to fit me. Thanks a lot!
You are welcome!
Sometimes, shyness is terrible feeling. For me it is like I know how I should't behave, but I cannot change it, so I do just opposite. The pressure is even bigger if I am overthinking over my "wrongness" in the moment where I see other people having no problem with being spontaneous.
I hate it most when i see people behave wrong and I'm too shy/scared to tell them off, I'm just happy that they leave me alone
I totally agree with you. Im a shy person, it takes time for me to feel comfortable. I do try my best, but I have accepted that its okay to feel this way. It used to get me down, but Im fine feeling this way now. I hide it quite well at times. Thanks for sharing.
It disturbs me most in those situations like wanting to offer someone my seat.
That social discomfort feeling 😂😂😂 I consider myself as a very shy and introvert person. There are just things i feel better left unsaid or doing it own my own. Glad that you're overcoming it. 😊
Thanks
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