I Thought I Was Social But I Was So Wrong

I'm an extrovert. I live and breathe human interactions and it means so much more to me than just something to fill up the silence.

When I was growing up I wanted to have a friend -- a best friend. Life was pretty fun back then, but I remember trying everything I could to be the person that would have friends around. I took risks for my friends, was super helpful and nice, yet nobody stuck around.

It didn't used to bother me then. I always found something to distract myself with. Oh and you probably guessed it -- another "friend". Sadly, the pattern was the same: I was good, they take, they leave an I was alone.

Striking a good conversation was never a problem and while other members of the gang were forgotten, nobody forgot me. Until this day, I have no idea what made me be so memorable.

I don't know if other extroverts go through this but it really gets to me when I find out that I am all alone.

The first thing that would come to my mind is that I probably am not worth their time.

As I grew older, I realized that the only reason why I never had the group I identified with or that really decent friend who stood by me through thick and thin was because I was never a friend to myself.

I ought to have been my first friend.

All those people who were loved and respected or had trails of friends were those who loved themselves. It never meant a difference to them when nobody wanted to hang out with them or if they were left alone. They never felt it. They were their own company.

I don't know why it took so long for me to discover this but I am glad it happened now than later in life when I would probably have had several failed relationships or a drug addiction.

I don't know where you're at, but if you can relate with this then just know that you are not alone.

Be your own best friend and it would never matter if you're alone or not. The truth is that when you begin to love yourself and be there for yourself, you'll never be left alone. You'll always have people around you. Nobody wants to hang out with someone who is desperate to be loved and cared for. People want to hang out with those who are stable and inspire them to acquire that stability for themselves.

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Where are you at right now? I'll be really happy to know.