10 life lessons from a 28 year old

The last few of years I have been faced with many life changing circumstances. Life has a funny way of showing us what we need instead of life giving us what we want. I know this list may be premature because in the greater sense 28 isn't that old. I have conjured up a list of life lessons that will help my age group and hopefully younger/older can attribute what I've learned in the last 28 years. Enjoy!

Be optimistic

I look back at every bad situation I've been in and somehow, someway I made it through it. I've realized that there are really only two options in life. Either you make it through the situation or you die. Most times you will make it through it and we spend so many hours, days, months being depressed about situations or issues that eventually figure themselves out.

Find purpose

I have talked with many people about what they want in life, and I usually get the same answer. They want money, power, success. I follow up that question with what is their purpose and it most times stuns them because we don't think about why we do what we do, all we know is we do it. Finding purpose and then fulfilling that purpose generally will accomplish success and if you feel successful then money, power, etc doesn't hold that much merit.

Love without expectation

I personally have had some rough relationships in my life resulting in the lowering of my self esteem, depression, and a overall lack of ambition of my personal goals. What I've learned is that regardless of the bad relationships, bad memories, bad events. You bounce back but what kills our self spirit is the expectation that everyone we will love will stay. I've learned that people need people for different things, and once people fill fulfilled then they have to make a choice whether to stay or leave. We have to make a conscious to love everyday and if that doesn't happen then both parties must go separate ways .

Memento Mori

Last year my father past away and it really set in with me that one day I will pass away as well. Memento mori means remember you have to die. This mentality has enabled me to forgive more, love more, do more positive things, and enjoy experiences that would not have happened if I never checked myself.

Listen more than you speak

I never have learned anything from me speaking, but once I have closed my mouth and listen/read more I became wiser. I learned new perspectives, questioned my own perspectives and gain additional insight on anything that is circulating in discussion.

You are right

Throughout my youth I spent countless amount of time arguing over nothing that even really mattered. It maybe was a few years ago when I was arguing with a girlfriend over something I knew I was right on, and instead of continuing the argument, I responded you're right. As soon as that happened the conversation ended and even though I may have lost the argument I won satisfaction in the fact that I didn't waste much of my time. To add to this mentality is the whole "one side of the book is black and the other is red." We can only see what we have in front of us, it is all perspective and even though we may be right or wrong, so can the opposing party. This leads to my next point.

Seek understanding

So many times I have disagreed with someones viewpoint, attitude, but I learned if I just dig a little bit deeper I could figure out why someone felt the way they did. This is a great way to turn an argument into a discussion. We also find by doing this we are more alike than not.

Stop the yelling

I have three kids. Four, three, and two. These three are the gun powder and I am the fire. When they get bad I used to yell. I read an article talking about social anxiety in kids and that yelling can increase the likelihood of that. So I tried something different. I talked, I talked, I maintained patience, and I talked, and talked some more. My kids weren't scared and sometimes they still didn't listen but they got the concept I was trying to reinforce.

Be patient

There is a saying, if you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are content you are living in the now. Being patient is a virtue that many people don't possess. Most people want results yesterday and it can distract us from accomplishing our goals. We don't make clear outlines steps towards our goals and then once we don't get the desired result we get discouraged and we don't fulfill our potential. With patience and execution you will attain your goals.

If all else fails, make your bed

I adopted this from Admiral William H. McRaven who said that if you make your bed you have completed the first task of the day and it gives you a sense of accomplishment, it gives us the motivation to complete more task and if all else fails you get to go home to a made bed. This gives us hope that tomorrow can be better.