In the Celestine Prophecy, the book describes how in situations two individuals combat for energy. If energy is not in equilibrium then there will be two counterparts created based off of dominance of energy. A person who cowers or becomes smaller is aloof. The individual who causes that is an interrogator.
Quite a remarkable book. You can also see my comment on this post about detachment from opinions during arguments and giving yourself a break. Don't blame yourself and don't blame others.
Keep Steeming you Hooligan!