INTRODUCTION :
Maybe are you still disappointed by the men you meet? That you constantly go from one story to another? That they do not call you back after the first date? Or do they faint in nature while your sheets are still hot?
So you think you're out of luck, that you always come across the wrong people. Your girlfriends support you by putting everything on their backs. Men are all bastards, it's well known. So how to find the right one?
Ok girls, let's be realistic, the time is not for fake excuses and the drain of responsibilities. It's your sentimental life that you play. So do not blame me but I will tell you a truth that hurts: you reap what you sow.
Believe me, if I tell you that, it's to open your eyes, really. I ruined months of my life in cumulative time. To love men hardly met. To invent a romantic story about faith at one glance. Use sex to get love. Do not support that his companion has activities on his side. All this, I know.
Until I understand this truth: absolute love was not outside, but inside me. Nobody could make me happy if I did not love myself. And all my misfortunes stemmed from this lack of appreciation for me.
To find the right partner, you have to believe that there is
The truth is that you can attract the right kind of men. Choose the one with whom you want to try the adventure. And progress together without efforts towards a lasting relationship.
For that, no need to be Miss World or to have Einstein's IQ. I assure you.
A romantic encounter is a social relationship first and foremost. A story of communication. There are codes to know and rules to apply. And as always, the way you look at things is important.
So how to find the right partner? Who will make you happy?
One thing is certain: if you think most men are dark manipulators. But only one person is destined for you, your ideal man. You risk loneliness for life.
On the other hand, if you strive to believe that there are lots of good men around you, you will be much more relaxed to meet them. Because, even if it does not go well with one of them, you will know that there are others that will be better for you.
It's about changing your mindset about men and dating.
What men like
Men appreciate certain qualities. I will reveal them to you. You must have one or two from this list.
Physical appearance does not matter that much
Of course you have to take care of yourself. It's a matter of respect for yourself. But your physique is not so important as you imagine. The important thing is inside. That's what you release that counts, your personality, your charm.
I know that too many of you are convinced that you do not have the right physique. Blame these retouched ads which we are overwhelmed. However, whether you are in the filiform category or the model Botticelli, you will always please men. Men are attracted above all by women who assume their bodies.
Besides, they are much more magnanimous towards you than you are with yourself. They do not focus on the small flaws that you are alone to see.
If your figure is globally proportionate, that you know how to highlight what you have beautiful, then they will find you desirable.
Sweetness :
You may have the plastic Monica Belucci, if you are as inflexible as Margaret Thatcher, it will not pass. Men love sweetness, which becomes a rare quality. Be careful, being gentle does not mean being inconsistent or being disrespectful. The sweetness does not prevent the spicy. Prefer the sweet-salty marshmallow. You will cause less indigestion.
Sexy femininity :
Being feminine and sexy is not wearing heels 10 cm high and a mini-skirt flush ... you see what ... No, that's to be vulgar. You will be sexy by revealing your assets subtly. While expressing yourself and behaving with class.
In summary: be sober. What is guessed is always more desirable than what is in the spotlight. In any case, if you want to attract a man who is worth it and build a long-term relationship.
Human heat :
Everyone prefers warm and smiling people. It seems obvious. Yet, if you have negative ideas about men, these rigid thoughts will affect your emotions, which will be transmitted to your attitude. Ice effect guaranteed.
The intelligence :
You do not need to have done Polytechnique or to have a huge general culture. Share your opinion and stay open and curious. This is enough to fuel exciting discussions. Practice active listening by sincerely interested in your interlocutor, by asking questions. Men love being listened to. It's easy, informative and it will make you interesting to him.
Autonomy and determination :
These are essential qualities for your personal evolution or for the success of your romantic relationships. We talk about it later ...
** Do you think you have many of these qualities but can not find a man? So, we'll have to do some introspection. **
INTROSPECTION :
Who are you ?
This simple question is far from simplistic. Because if you do not know WHO you are, you do not know WITH whom you want to be. You will never find the right person for you.
A story is a bit like a trip. You will be more likely to arrive somewhere if you choose your destination upstream.
What are your values?
- Is loyalty important to you?
- Are you ready to accept someone from a different culture, social background or religion?
- Does politics bristle or fascinate you?
- What is your position on the major topics of society?
- Do you prefer that your man's is different or similar?
- What are the two essential qualities that a man must have in your opinion?
What is your life style?
- Are you a mad cityman or a crazy nature?
- Do you like to play sports or are you allergic to them?
- Do you prefer to live in an orderly environment?
- Are you more of a party girl or rather?
- Do you like to travel or are you allergic to change?
You must know your preferences. You need to know what you want in your daily life, in the short term and in the long term.
What do you want ?
Be ready to build
Building a story requires investment time. If your mind is caught up in a major change in your life, this may not be the perfect time to meet people. You have just been hired on a new job, you are looking for a job, you are going back to school, you are having trouble with your children. These upheavals you generate some anxieties and it is normal. But the man you meet is not there to support your difficulties. He probably has his own to manage.
Overwhelming a man of your problems at a first meeting is the surest way to make him run away.
Concentrate on your current goals and when you have found a balance, you will be better prepared to meet people.
At this stage, to avoid disappointment, you will need to check that this man is ALSO ready to engage seriously. Is he at a stage in his life where he has priority problems to solve? So you will never be anything more than a light relationship for him. Do not be the one he takes to furnish his loneliness, you're better than that.
The crippling characteristics
Your time is your most precious asset, so do not waste it. Determine what kind of man you want to meet. Having criteria will simplify your search by improving your "goods" radar.
Being demanding in your research does not mean being unrealistic. A man you dislike physically? It happens, we can not please everyone and it's good for you too. But your requirement must first and foremost be based on values and not essentially physical criteria.
If a man deceives his wife with you when fidelity is essential to you, you are badly blocked! Do not stretch the stick to get beat. You will never change someone's deep nature. So, be consistent and focus on men who seem to have values and a way of life compatible with yours.
Openness and clarity (speak frankly) :
Meetings and discussions, even if they do not lead to a story, are always rewarding. So be interested in him by listening. Do not set old accounts by putting all men in one basket. If a man is clumsy or shy, it may be that you like him. If it is not reciprocal, be respectful with him as you would like us to be with you. Let yourself be surprised, the one that suits you may not look like the image you have.
Speak the language of men
Linguists have shown [1] that women rarely express their demands directly. For a man, this language is incomprehensible. He considers it indecisiveness and does not support it. So forget the "possibly", and the conditional. Ask clearly what you want. Use the imperative. Say, "Do you want? (You appeal to his sense of action) and not "Can you? "(You question his skills).
Affective independence and autonomy of life
Have activities (do not pretend, be REALLY busy!)
The golden rule in any relationship is: get yourself first. You do not have to cancel at the last moment a scheduled evening with a friend because Monsieur is only available that night. Even if you just met him and you burn to see him again. ESPECIALLY in this case.
A man could abuse you if you behave as well. Because always putting someone first is not an act motivated by kindness but by insecurity. And that will not give more chance to your relationship, on the contrary.
When you are more advanced in someone's knowledge, it will be time to make concessions. At the beginning of the relationship, be generous with yourself and live your life. Celibacy is the ideal time to start new activities. So do yourself a favor.
Do not wait for him
Keep your independence. Its very important.
You may have suffered emotional deprivation during your life. When one lacks love in infancy, one develops an insecure temperament. We immediately focus on anyone who shows you a minimum of interest.
This is why we must be aware of the importance of taking care of ourselves, of growing on a personal level. If you regularly follow Maxime, I think you have already taken that first step.
I deeply missed love in my youth. It's nothing to say.
The course of my life changed the day I realized that I had all the power to improve what did not suit me. We have a wonderful tool for evolution and learning: our brain [2]. Science has shown that we can develop our intellect, overcome our wounds and soothe our anxieties. And this, throughout our life.
If you had to remember just one thing about dating, it would be this: you can only be happy with someone the day you are happy alone.
As I like to say, selfishness is above all generosity to oneself. So take care of yourself and you will be attractive to men.
I wish you beautiful discoveries in love.
See you soon.