This is heavy... But I'm glad to see you are enjoying life! Sometimes you just gotta be selfish for your own good. Your blood family isn't always the best family, but you can build your own family. I got a lot of disapproval from my mom when I came out to her, being a middle aged Chinese woman, she didn't get it, and that resulted in arguments that lasted for over a year. That's why I still haven't come out to my father. I also don't feel like I belong in China. I'm just too different. But we will all eventually figure things out, and be the best versions of ourselves. Go chase your dreams buddy!