I see. I'm sure you have been through a lot and you're fighting your own battle everyday. Forgiveness is the key here and I'm glad to hear you're starting your forgiveness journey. Just to share my forgiveness journey and tips with you in this blog.
I'm doing guided meditation too! Do you have any type that you prefer? Like deep breathing, relaxation, thinking, etc.?
I also believe connecting to the locals and people while travelling allows us to truly understand the country :)