I don't think I know anyone who really wanted to go to school. Many of us felt like it was a waste of time, because we could see it for what it was; a way to condition us to accept the authority of the state as a superior being-- even more powerful than our parents-- and so that we would be programmed for aggression, so that we would easily accept the latest war. Once we are deprogrammed though, we can never unsee the facade, but we can see the indoctrination camps that we survived, and we can warn others!
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Keep shouting in the dark and eventually things will change. You have a lot of courage...