Wow man Id just like to say thanks for sharing. I cant even begin to comprehend what that feels like. Hey man I'd just like to share with you that Jesus Christ can give you closure! Jesus can give you the peace and meaning that your dad no longer can. Comedy and fitness is great too, and has blessed me in so many ways as well, but having a personal relationship with the person that died on the cross for my sins and yours can give you more peace than you'd believe. I'll be praying for you and your dad.