Introduction
I have suffered from depression for many years. For the longest time I was scared to even admit to it - indeed I sometimes still find it hard to talk about in person.
One of the most difficult aspects of depression is the feeling of isolation and the false belief (that can often occur) where you start to believe that you are the only that is suffering from this affliction.
This is at least in part due to the ongoing societal stigma about depression and mental health problems.
Things are improving but there is still a long way to go.
The stigma combined with the skewed (negative) thinking that occurs during depression results in many people suffering in silence until they can't take it any more.
The recent suspected suicide of Chris Cornell (from Soundgarden) has illustrated how depression and it's most severe outcome (suicide) can strike even the rich and famous.
Success does not shield people from these problems.
Suicide is not the answer though
When you reach the breaking point of despair it can seem the only way to escape is taking drastic action.
In many cases suicide seems like the easiest option. Your mind is clouded to the point where you can't see any other way out.
Often people who have reach this point have been “keeping up appearances” to hide the true situation from everyone around them.
They are unable to comprehend any other resolution. It seems to be the only fix.
The thing is that it may appear that it will fix things for you but it leaves utter devastation in your wake.
Your family and your friends will never be the same again. They will be racked by guilt and regrets.
Some will likely go to an early grave as a result of the strain.
"What if?" can destroy a person's life if they blame themselves for the death of a loved one.
Don't suffer in silence
If you are suffering from depression or are suicidal, don't suffer in silence.
The first step is to speak to someone.
Unfortunately due to the way that depression warps your thinking this will seem like the hardest thing to do.
There is often shame and guilt that makes it hard to broach the subject with people that you know and are closest to you.
One way around this is to talk to a neutral person. There are many services that offer this kind of support.
For example in the UK (and US) there are the Samaritans.
They offer telephone and in-person support. They can also help to clarify your situation and get you further help/more in depth support.
During the depths of depression it can be very hard to think clearly and another person who can look objectively at your situation can be invaluable in clearing through this fog.
I know because I have been there.
If you are in that dark situation use Google to see what services are available in your area (just try googling depression support).
Another alternative is to call up your local GP (General Practitioner) surgery/health centre as they can signpost you to the service that you need.
There are often specifically tailored services for different situations - e.g. for bereavement, drug problems etc.
If you are a spiritual person then your Church or religious centre will also likely have some support services which may be more suited to you.
-Just pick up the phone and ask.
It may seem like a really difficult thing to do, but just taking that one little action can set you on the path towards making things better.
No matter how bad it seems now it will get better
One of the disorders of thought that occurs during depression is a particular brand of nihilism and fatalism that says that things will never get better.
This is an illusion though. It is not rational, it is not logical and it is not based on any evidence.
Almost all cases of depression will improve given enough time. It is just a case of getting through the dark periods.
Some of those periods will be very dark.
For example, there were times when I would spend all my waking hours figuring out how I could end my life in a way that would not cause any harm to others. -It occupied my thoughts completely.
There is no way to do that though. Suicide will always cause harm to others. The path of least harm for everyone is to seek help.
Once you do and you start to feel better you will wonder why you didn't do it earlier.
It is not easy and you won't suddenly feel back to normal - not right away.
It will be gradual and it will take time but that feeling of knowing there is a positive way out makes a world of difference.
I am not speculating here.
I have been there myself multiple times with my own depression (and also with my patients).
Things will get better.
Conclusion
I know this is a difficult subject to talk about and I don't want to make this too long.
To summarise, the fundamental points are:
- Suicide does not solve problems it only creates worse problems for those you care about.
- Depression does get better no matter how bad things may seem.
- There is easy to access (non-judgmental) help out there. Just ask for it.
Also before I go just wanted to say that I will be around to answer questions tonight but will be away at a wedding tomorrow.
If I don't get back to you right away just be patient and I will respond.
Thank you for reading
Congratulations @thecryptofiend!
Your post was mentioned in my hit parade in the following categories:
Thanks!
Glad to see you so often there ;)
Sometimes, the things are not bad, Nothing Bad has happened to a person, But nothing Good also has not happened to a person from a long time. And this is my story, I have not been able to do something good in my life till now. And when everyone around you is doing a lot better than you, You get up daily and ask yourself what I have done wrong, Where I have been Not so good to go through this. I have never felt suicidal tendencies, because I think It is the worse thing to do, I could do a lot better than this. I don't know If I am depressed but I have been stressed from a few months lately. It looks like my success at Not doing anything Good is eating me away slowly. But a feeling has kept me away from falling apart. A feeling to Improve my situation.
Steemit helped me a lot because I have been posting a littlebbit positive/ funny stuff daily. That lets me ease up a little bit. But still Sometime I get a lot strained If I don't do something to try To become something Worthy In Life. I don't Know what My situation is called, But I know that Our life is precious, and if we can't spend it doing something good For us, we should Give It Up to help others.
We will definitely achieve some peace and "salvation".
Suicide Is never a solution for anything ever.
Thanks for sharing your perspective. I'm glad that Steemit has been helpful for you.
@thecryptofiend I'm grateful you are still alive
otherwise I wouldn't have bumped into such a very generous - big heart soul virtually.
You're going to be a big loss in the world had it been the other way around.
indeed.. everyone could have depression and some could even be a walking depression
in a particular place in Asia its rampant - there's even a forest there where people hang themselves on trees to die despite the many posts that says think about your parents, your family, wife and kids.
However, they also have the highest rate of loneliness - I guess the more people get to talk and socialize and feel that they are valued and they can do what they are passionate of - the more they live but the opposite of that - having no one and no one to understand nor support you - is already death too .. but go out and talk - or go to a shrink and if they are too embarrassed - find one who caters in skype. Suicide is the worst option - seeking help and socializing could even sometimes be free and if you got lucky -its also possible virtually these days
Thanks very good points. Yes there is the Japanese suicide forest I have seen it on TV. There is always a way to get help.
thank you!
and the sad part is it's becoming rampant in neighboring countries too
the rat race plague is causing that I suppose - back in the old days people are more social and caring but these days - everyone just wants to get out of the rat race fast - and working hard to get rich or powerful or famous yet unhappy - its all in the head really -that mindset - but it can be reconditioned
I hope the number of suicide cases lessens
Yes I think that is part of the reason for it increasing. Me too.
We Have One of those forest In India called suicide Forest, Where People Go and hang themselves their, Some even say their is a supernatural force, which kills and hang those people their.
Welcome.
I am glad that steemit helps you. It is because your thought are now on other things and not just on yourself and your situation.
Yes, and I am trying to help others too, by writing a little bit Motivating and funny posts.
This is what life is all about, ups and downs, but for some reason they were made for a reason. Everything that had happen and will happen in our lives has its purpose. We may not see and understand it right away but in the right time, we will.
True.
Suicide is definitely not the solution to your problems @thecryptofiend I have been there, the one thing that helped me the most was learning psychology, life is beautiful and you only have one.
Thanks for sharing your perspective.
I understand you. Not a long time ago I finally found a good psychiatrist, and now my life begins to turn brighter. But I never thought of suicide.
Thank you brother @thecryptofiend for this kind assistance
I do not know what to write about what I feel
But do you allow my brother to recover the money after a month?
Until the problem is finished
Thank you very much brother
Please keep it as a gift there is no need to pay it back. In the future when you see someone else in trouble help them and pay it forward that way.
I do not know how to write down what I feel
The English language is weak but you can feel what I feel like my friend
Many thanks for helping me solve the problem
Mona promised when the problem was finished, what I can help people here
Don't worry about it. Just get your problems fixed.
I have raised my spirits so much that this problem is finished
Yes - its true. Now I am over my depression. My mother has passed away a few months ago, but I was able to deal with her alzhemier's.
Thanks again. I guess I learnt no matter how wonderful my life looked to the outside world, when I suffered from depression, nothing seems to matter.
Their is always a way out .
Yes there is always a better way to deal with problems.
I completely identify. Only the effect suicide would have on my children prevented me from considering it more seriously. It does get better and it gets worse again. It's a cycle, but slowly you learn coming skills.
Yes one of the things with depression is that it is relapsing/remitting condition. I think you tend to get better at dealing with it with time.
Depression and committing suicide is plague. I remember an hall mate who committed suicide taking insecticide. That incident still hunt me to this very moment. I wish there was a Samaritan organization in Nigeria maybe that will reduce the suicide cases that plague the
I'm really sorry to hear that. I think there probably is something similar in Nigeria. I know that a lot of spiritual organisations provide such support (you don't need to believe in their religion either).
I have never heard of one though. I know there should be one, I will write a re-post when I find one. Just some months ago, a medical doctor jumped into the lagoon in Lagos to commit suicide. I am more sensitive these days to notice every man and woman I come in contact with.
Please do. That is sad. Medics generally have some of the highest rates of depression and suicide.
Wow! Hats of to you for being brave enough to share your experience, and giving tips to those who need help. Truly inspiring!
I think this post is very relevant at the moment. Have you guys heard of something called The Blue Whale suicide challenge. It's Facebook thing (I think) that apparently is trending amongst teenagers right now in many countries. Look it up, it's heartbreaking to see suicide being trendy and there are actually people encouraging these youngsters to kill themselves :(
Thanks I was not aware of it I will have a look! That "trendy" suicide thing is sick.
Today I was between two posts. Either the one I wrote or about suicide. My perspective is quite different though. I believe it is ok for one to end their life Sometimes the pain is unbearable and if it goes long enough I believe it is ok for anyone to just end it. It is statistically probable that for some people at least it will not get better.
I know almost no one will agree with this but at the end of the day, suicide is something personal. Here is another favorite quote from Cloud Atlas:
“People pontificate, "Suicide is selfishness." Career churchmen like Pater go a step further and call in a cowardly assault on the living. Oafs argue this specious line for varying reason: to evade fingers of blame, to impress one's audience with one's mental fiber, to vent anger, or just because one lacks the necessary suffering to sympathize. Cowardice is nothing to do with it - suicide takes considerable courage. Japanese have the right idea. No, what's selfish is to demand another to endure an intolerable existence, just to spare families, friends, and enemies a bit of soul-searching.”
― David Mitchell, Cloud Atlas
Interesting perspective. I will have to disagree with you as I think you would expect.
sorry to hear that.
in my experience the best defense
against depression is
DEEP
cynicism.
satire is your friend.(YMMV)
like they say..suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem
we're all gonna die anyway, so why rush things.
I intend to inflict myself upon humanity for as long as I can
make em PAAAAAAAY
Your milage may vary...but heh...it keeps the liquor bill down.
Well a dry sense of humour certainly helps I think!
yup...exactly.
life is a bowl of cherries..
if you get the pits.
well...the slingshot is just sitting there.
:)
Gotta love your humor man! Keep it up. Following you now. :)
careful
I tend to be
NASTY
Never heard it, but it's short and can hit the target; it could work well for people inclined to be (allegedly) strictly logical, provided you convince them the problem is in fact temporary.
Thanks for sharing. I suffered terribly from anxiety for a number of years and luckily, I've had a strong support network around me but it's the toughest thing I have ever had to go through. The most difficult aspect for me was the lack of understanding of the illness from a lot of friends and relatives. It's not like others illnesses that are physical and can be treated in a hospital. I found that when I was at my lowest point I felt I would be stuck like that forever and that "this was it". I know you are talking about suicide and I completely agree that it is never the answer but in my experience I was paralysed with fear when I was at my worst. It's a different type of mental illness but I could see how it would lead someone to contemplate suicide. The best advice I could give is to keep talking about it and get help. There is light at the end of the tunnel if you are willing to let others help you. Great article and thanks again for sharing your story.
Thank you for sharing your experience. Severe anxiety can be really crippling and it often is accompanied by depression. It sounds like you have found the help and support to cope and move forward.
My last bad bout was six years ago. It's been under control since then so I've learned to manage it over time. Hopefully it won't come back but I'd like to think I'm in a better position to manage it now. It is cripplying when it happens though.
Yes for sure. Good to hear you are doing better for the last few years.
I had a very difficult childhood, at one time I lived in a street situation, I left my house at 14 years of age to another city in search of improvement, at first this new city received me very badly, I lived a long time in the street and I must admit that in more than one opportunity I thought about taking my life, I did not do it because I was thinking about the pain that would cause my mother, then my life changed and finally emerged.
I read Isabel Allende's book, the power is in you, there I understood many things, then I had a successful career, I was manager of several very important company.
You're right in what you say sucidio is not the solution.
Thank you very much dear friend @thecryptofiend for copartir this material
Thanks for sharing your experience.
Its hard to see the truth when all you see is blackness. I have found that when soneone has decided to do it there personality can change, happer and calmer. As they have come to terms with it. Thankfully I haven't got that far and had people looking after me.
Yes absolutely. I think time is one of the things that helps most and our personalities are not as static as people used to presume.
People suffering from depression need good support around them, peopls that recognise the changes
Yes I agree.
Excelente post, yo hasta hace poco sufrí una fuerte depresión por haberme abandonado mi ex estando embarazada y hace unos días pensaba lo peor. En mi caso no tengo a ese alguien con quien conversar ya que solo hacen juicio de mi situación y siento empeorar. Lo que hice fue leer testimonios de otras mujeres que se encuentran igual que yo y lo pudieron superar. Es tal cual como lo indicas en tu artículo, siempre hay una salida y hay que buscar dentro de nosotros. Gracias!
Gracias, me alegro de que seas mejor.
very well said
depression is a illnes that require medical treatment, and it also a plugue of our generation.
Yes true depression does and is a growing problem.
I has depression and i quit from it. Just speak with someone and do not hold or hide inside.
Great writing about people's sorrowful life...
Even not havingsuffering something like that or not having reached this non-returning point life can take you there in a moment...you have to be strong enough to keep up because life is a real precious and you cannot give it away. Thanks for this encouraging text and dont forget to follow me! Thanks again :)
I think we all have known someone that took this path, and keep having these haunting regrets that we didn't know they were in this sad state, or didn't know what to do.
I don't want to minimize the efforts of those fighting the battles of depression, or think there's an easy fix. Sometimes we find ourselves in a situational depression due to relationships, finances, and myriad problems. These situational depressions will surely go away with time. There are those that despite situational effects, have something going on inside the brain that can't be explained by their state-of-affairs.
If you suffer from any type of depression, check out this interesting device. Just passing on information. Good luck and God bless.
www.fisherwallace.com
Thanks - I will need to look at that.
I appreciate your perspective and words of encouragement here. It's true that many times, suicide attempts are made by people who might find hope or solace if they just hung on a bit longer.
However, I have to disagree that suicide is never the solution to anyone's problems. For instance, if someone suffers from a long-term illness that seriously restricts their physical and/or mental capabilities, making their life a constant struggle with pain, I think in that case suicide is a completely rational decision. Of course, it is up to the individual in question how much they are able and willing to withstand. There are people out there who suffer from a level of physical pain that I can't even begin to comprehend. And many of them find their ability to enjoy life diminished to such an extent, and their finances so depleted by medical care, that it really is not worth it to them to go on living.
And if that is the case for physical illness, I have to think that the same might be true for mental and emotional illnesses as well. There are certainly people out there for whom life is so stripped of pleasure and hope that to end it all is the most rational decision they could make. I am not in their head or heart, so I can't judge whether their pain was truly overwhelming enough to take that action. But I do believe in the principle of self-ownership, and to truly own our selves, we must have the right and freedom to take our own lives. Plain and simple. If we do not, then we are owned by someone else.
Thank you for your post. I think many people contemplate suicide prematurely, and this post may be a huge help to those people.
Thanks for your perspective. Personally I am not a believer in euthanasia but I can understand that point of view.
I am not a believer in euthanasia, either. But I place a distinction between euthanasia (where people decide for the ill person that they need to be "put to sleep") and suicide or assisted suicide (where the ill person makes his or her own choice when and how to die. I've seen the two definitions used interchangeably, but I think the term carries an implication of force.
I hadn't considered that - I think I would also draw a distinction between someone who has a terminal illness choosing their time of death vs someone who is depressed. Thanks for sharing your perspective:)
Some very difficult situations you describe, but very real.
Very important for people who are sorrounding depressed person is not to play along. Act as if all is normal. This is sometimes very hard for relatives but this is the key
Yes - although I think it depends on the situation.
Great post my friend. I suffered from Depression after my mother got alzhiemer's.
Lovely to hear your story.
So sorry to hear that. Hope you are better now.
Hi my friend, it was a severely difficult period which last several years back in 2011.
Yes I am better now but it is truly a terrible all consuming illness which few people understand.
Thanks for sharing.
Yes definitely.
I don't think I am brave enough to share with many but will tell you I was suicidal and planned the method of my death. Work problems, physical illness contributed to my depression.
Well it takes time. Thank you for sharing.
I've been in this dark place before and sometimes it's really hard to break free of it.
I would not be here today if not for the love and support of family and friends.
It's so important to reach out and to share with those who love you about what's going on.
Thanks for posting this! ❤️
You're welcome thank you for sharing your experience.
This comment by @hope777, my hubby is @scotty777. All very true and insightful. The first time when I got depressed, by the time I was diagnosed I was down in a very deep dark pit. Thoughts of suicide was my companion everyday. It took me very long to see the light again. But I got good treatment and cognitive treatment. That help me to recognise the depression sooner and not allow myself to go that deep before seeking help. From 1990 till 2006 I was hospitalized 4 times. About once every four years. Since 2007 I do not get that depressed anymore usually just a bit melancholy for a few days and manage to snap out of it. It is a war with your thoughts instead of allowing yourself to become more and more negative you must try fight it. Renew your mind and let rational thought won the war! Thankful for that.
Good to hear. I found help with CBT too plus a few more things like meditation and exercise. I think you gradually get better at preventing yourself sinking too deep.
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem! When I decided not to let others have power over me, things became better. Talking it out is a wonderful solution, it's how I overcame Vietnam. The ultimate solution comes from within though I believe.
Great way to put it.
Thank you... I thought I might suffer from depression until I realized it wasn't me that sucked (at least not completely). I always try to encourage people to stay away from psychotropic medications- at best they delay symptoms and at worst are extremely damaging. I think talking to someone you trust is the best solution... they can help people see their value as individuals.
The medications have their place but only in severe cases and in combination with other treatments. The problem is the medications are a lot cheaper and easier to give out than long term psycho-therapeutic treatments. Even if things changed there aren't enough people in most western countries to provide psychotherapy for all that need it. Psychological issues are not glamorous enough to attract the funding and tend to get put at the back of the queue compared to other things.
Especially with depression where the blame the victim mentality still persists. The therapeutic community has become shills for big pharma. The guy I take care of (my former boss) has a table full of meds and the only thing I can see that's really wrong is that he's over medicated!
I think it is slightly more complex - it is far cheaper to medicate people than deal with the underlying problems through social interventions and psychological interventions (like CBT). This means that they are often pushed as the complete solution when they are not. Obviously the drug companies love that.
Agreed, problems are always more complex than they seem... This is an excellent video that shows the trend away from therapy toward medication. It's long but very complete.
I know you were talking about depression specifically, but it's covered in here.
If you know someone who is depressed (or you suspect he is), try to help him, talk to him... Some suicides can be avoided with help, talking to someone really helps, but depressed people is not used to search help or wont admit it in many cases... Many can overcome depression, don't give up!
Yes very true.
When you feel depressed and nothing seems to work your way even then we should not lose hope. Because in the end everything will be OKAY.
It might feel there is no one that understands you but if you look around there are.
You have written the post to the point man!
Thanks:)
You're welcome :)
Sometimes I think one of the most overvalued thing is someone else's judgement (or, more in general, society's judgement) about us, what we are, what we say, what we feel. Often it's a burden that stops us.
We also fear to admit we are weak and we can need help, not only because of the fear of judgement: sometimes it's a matter of pride, sometimes it's the will not to be of hindrance (especially for people we love), sometimes it's the fear to be in debt, or to lose (part of) our independence. There are so many shades, each person has its story, hence not everything works for everyone; but I think the common denominator to start a path to leave dangerous states of mind is in fact to admit we are in this trap, and to talk about it.
Good points!
"Whoever destroys a soul, it is considered as if he destroyed an entire world. And whoever saves a life, it is considered as if he saved an entire world."
(Mishnah Sanhedrin 4:5; Yerushalmi Talmud 4:9, Babylonian Talmud Sanhedrin 37a.)
Thank you for your honesty with your struggle and it seems also, for converting it into a desire to help people who may not have anyone else to help them. If you gave just 1 person, a single drop of strength, B"H..!
Thanks for the words of wisdom mate:)
Yw, and likewise! You and @ papa's new little one made my afternoon today! B"H!
Thank you:)
If you believe you've hit rock bottom, the only way is up.
Yes.
thanks for sharing!
You're welcome!
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Yes I know! Next one is the real one!
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True. Suicide should never be an option. There are just too many things to miss out on - AI, Blockchains, Steemit, IoT, our own grown up pets...
Yes.
ahww so cute puppy!!! <3 <3 - Great post dear @thecryptofiend Upvote <3 .
Oddly enough, for the last week I listened to a lot of Chris Cornell's music so hearing about his suicide yesterday came as a shock in a different way than it would've 2 weeks ago. I love his voice so the the post is much appreciated. .....I too couldn't help but smile upon seeing the puppy!!! Great way to close @thecryptofiend.
Thanks yes I loved the puppy photo!
:)
That was a very heavy post but necessary. Thank you for ending it with a cute puppy.
You're welcome thank you for reading:)
I lost a friend to depression/suicide some years back...not a nice thing to remember. Thanks for the article, resteemed!
Sorry to hear that. It is one of the worst ways to lose someone. Accidents or illness are in some ways easier to accept. When someone takes their own life you get left with the "what if" questions.
exactly, the 'what if' still haunts me
It is understandable.
painful is the right word
Great post! I promoted it because I think it is a matter that should be addressed. As a Vet, I have had my bouts with depression and almost succumbed to the final resort to solve the problem. I have had more brothers and sisters that I have served with die due to this mental illness state side then overseas in combat. It is a matter that needs to be addressed, but it starts with us as a community. Suicide is a problem that comes from the social lifestyle. With Vets, we feel like we don't have a belonging when we come back to the civilian life and there for isolate ourselves form others. That makes matters worst! Being alone with your thoughts and finding quick solutions as drinking and drugs will exacerbate the issue. We need each other and empathize with one another. There are many that think we are weak in mental stand point, when in all actuality, we are all vulnerable to the issue. Thanks for this post!
Thanks for sharing your experience:)
According to some reading the person decides to suicide one year before. Main causes are financial problems, family problems.
Interesting.
This is one wonderful piece, had intentions of writing about suicide considering it's increase lately even among kids. nice job :)
Thanks mate you should still do the post though.
Thanks bud, I will make sure i do :)
and most definitively you leave sorrows AND problems to all others family and friends ...
Yes I think so too.
excellent post! i follow you!
Thank you!
Followed and copy paste save to read it again and again and again...! Thank you for that :) @creutzy, check this out... :)
Thanks!
As a retired pastor and counselor, I am so grateful to see such a good message on the challenges of depression. My posts on "Sharing and Caring" Network will also provide thoughts and insight into similar problems. See you around.
Thank you:)
Its not, and the horrible irony is that after someone does this the outpouring of grief and support would make them realise there are people here for them who would love them and talk to them. That's whats needed, talk to someone. They might not be able to help but talking about a problem can make it seem not as bad.
Yes I agree.
Excellent article and so well written. We had this awful experience of suicide happen in our family and from a most unsuspecting member...beautiful, loved, kind, and successful.
Every day is a new day for new beginnings to reach out and serve others which many times offers healing for ourselves and a brighter future.
Be good to yourself you are loved.
Thank you for sharing and I am so sorry to hear of your loss.
Congratulations all 7 peppers!
Thanks!
Thank you so much for writing this!!!
Thanks glad you liked it!