This is a really inspiring story. I know many people who have had struggles with addiction and your story is a near textbook example of how sometimes great success can leave one ultimately unfulfilled and seeking something more from life.
I'm curious if your current job working with mentally handicapped people has filled that void and helped you to maintain your sobriety from drugs? You may not have the big money or fancy cars but I suspect you are making a difference in people's lives in a way that is priceless and brings a greater degree of inner peace.
Obviously Jen had a big impact and it seems her unwillingness to watch you kill yourself had big effect. Do you still hope to rekindle the relationship? I think we all hope for a happy ending - at least you are still friends but if you do maybe it is worth discussing how you feel with her?
Anyway just wanted to say thanks for sharing. Your story ultimately may provide hope for others.
Thank you for reading and the awesome reply man!
My current job is great, I have always loved psychology and the field I'm in keeps me thinking and also allows me to help people which is rewarding. As far as staying off drugs, the biggest thing for me was getting out of that lifestyle and remembering how good it feels to be sober from that shit. You almost feel like a super hero when you have been on drugs for years and then you finally get sober for an extended period of time. So I'd say the biggest thing with keeping me sober is remembering how much better I feel now. Working out, Running, and Coding have helped more than anything.
Me and Jen hangout all the time, we're really good friends, we still hook up, basically everything but the label right now. If there is the happy ending i'm looking for it's right now in this present moment, and I can only hope it will unfold and become something even better than I imagined! She knows how I feel and I know how she feels, We're just not ready to put a label on anything just yet.
And once again thanks for the reply man, It means a lot to me you read my post. :)
OK fantastic. I know that superhuman feeling. I had an issue with alcohol and it was only when I was completely sober for a year that I realised how great that felt - just being in control of all your faculties with a clear and sharp mind. It is kind of superhuman. Most drugs of abuse tend to leave you feeling deadened afterwards as your physiology tries to compensate for their presence. It can take time to go back to true normality.
I'll keep my fingers crossed for you and Jen:)