Wow, Satoshi as a government actor? That's a scary thought, and taking distrust of government to a whole new level of paranoia. I choose not to believe that

I don't want to believe it either but I think we need to at least consider it.

But while we're on the subject of government meddling: what if all the recent attacks on the Ethereum network were actually engineered by the NSA?

It's possible.

Ah, I love a good conspiracy theory with my morning coffee.

I love them too. You just have to be careful not to get lost down the rabbit hole.