pol·y·am·o·ry
the philosophy or state of being in love or romantically involved with more than one person at the same time.
source Newsweek
You might call it adultery if you're not aware that this is becoming a more common practice every day across the world, and provides much happiness and pleasure for those involved! Here are my top five reasons to give my love to more than one.
- I like all kinds of different people, I don't have just one particular type whatsoever, and I like being able to encourage those relationships to grow. I get to experience the closeness of many other people at once, instead of feeling like I'm "sneaking around" or similar. I can just let things flow the way I'd like with others, as opposed to saying things like "I'm sorry, I really like you, but I'm taken". Try and imagine how much comfort that could bring your your relationship experiences, that type of security and trust in the ones you love.
- The growing pains might be a very real thing to consider before embarking in a polyamorous relationship, but you should also consider the possibility of these growing pains bringing you closer together, poly couples are some of the most secure and fun to be around people that I've had the pleasure of meeting. There are exceptions to every rule, but for the most part I've found this to be true. I've been more than a few rough patches in my poly, and every time they've been patched up and made things feel more insulated and close between the partner I had friction with and myself.
- You get to love people on other parts of the sexuality spectrum as you, this opens up the possibilities of dating asexual individuals and others that you wouldn't normally give prioritization to because you're only looking for such a small criteria that matches what you're looking for in a sole partner. I find this to be a beautiful thing about polyamory that I'll never take for granted, being able to insulate those connections and give to them romantically and emotionally in other regards is such a nice feeling, when before you would have to stifle such feelings in favor of a more sexual partner if you lean further in that direction.
- The sex, let's be real, having multiple people to help satisfy your sexual appetite is quite an appeal of polyamory for a lot of people, I can't count the amount of delightful group activities I've partaken in during my past few years living this lifestyle. A few have been less than good, to say the least, but those are lessons to learn from, not fractures to end a relationship on. As long as all parties have communicated well and understand one another and what they want to happen during the night, things will be a blast for all involved.
- The support, the support is another huge factor that comes from poly families, you have more than one person that cares deeply about your health and well-being, you have more people that want to hear about your bad day earnestly, and more than one person that can cheer you up and make you laugh while you're feeling down. Having the added emotion support from multiple partners makes polyamory something that will be in my life as long as I can help it, one partner might be better at handling a particular situation better than another, and that's okay! You can just go to the one that would handle you better, and give the cliffnotes to the one that wouldn't give you the best advice, or whatever you'd like!
Keep in mind that the true beauty above all else with Poly, is that you and your partners get to make the rules, there are no standards to adhere to, and you only build your poly family based off of the characteristics and rules that you and yours agree upon, leave your old bread-winner stereotypes at the door if you don't think they appeal to you, triple and quadruple income households do exist between lovers!
Your local crypto slut - <3
i love your post. i have met multiple sets of poly "clusters" (yes that was also a sense8 reference). i totally agree with the idea of people banding together in a loving, respectful group to share their lives together. the idea that we have to stick to the 2 person only system or deal with "open/polygamy" relationships when people can and have had healthy, productive and long lasting relationships is sad. hopefully we will soon see more acceptance of "non-traditional" love.
5 well made points. Upped.
Thank you! <3
In my ignorance about the topic I think it is difficult to create a polyamory relationship. Maintaining a monogamous relationship is difficult sometimes because of divergences that eventually happen , so I guess the more people involved the more divergences will be.
However, I fully respect this type of relationship, and would like to have one too in case the proper situation is met.
This is a growing practice in my area. I know several couples trying it out, with various success. TONS of therapy for all of them. It's more like therapy has become a new hobby to go along with their expensive dates that split time throughout the week, and split attention when together.
Not saying polyamory isn't totally possible and perfect for some people. But when polyamorists marry monogamists, it seems like no matter how hard the monogamist tries to be game, their wiring never really gets rerouted into being okay with their spouse being poly (although they seem to be the ones okay with having multiple partners themselves...their partner just can't).
But, hey, there's a learning curve in all things, right? I pretty sure more and more people will start trying polyamory in the future. No one I know who has opted in has opted back out. So there's that.
I've been poly going on three years or so now and I don't think I could ever go back, the ups are massively more impactful than the downs, which I can handle and fix with relative ease usually.