I didn't come from one of those families however the answer is in the question in my opinion. Self-esteem must come from understanding the self independent of others opinions and expectations. This requires reflection and being alone (I don't mean lonely) so there is the space to truly think and discover who one is. Once that is known, no amount of criticism need ever damage an ego for the illusory ego itself is gone, what is left is an authentic individual that can be a part of a community without being designed by the group.

BTW, cute drawing :)