Thank you for reading this and your comments. It all helps.
I had to go home to help take care of him for my Mom for a few days after writing this, so I wanted to separate myself from some of these thoughts while I was there. It was very difficult to help with some rather uncomfortable tasks, but also an eye-opening experience to see how strong my Mom was. Her resolve renewed my understanding of what strength truly is.
Well said, it's really amazing how in those really heavy life moments you usually see both the light and the dark.
I had a similar experience with my mom when I watched how she handled the death of my step dad. It was just a staggering display of strength, vulnerability, weakness and love. I think in those moments, who you truly are has no choice but to come through completely and it's always magnified because of it.