The "Must Fit in'' Syndrome

in #life7 years ago

Be Yourself

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The lives of most of us have literally been lived waking up each day caring about what people think about us. We shield our true self and split them into thousands of prisons to reflect a rather different side because of our acceptance of the societal status quo, thereby narrowing through life not based on our beliefs or what we want but primarily to meet up with a certain ''standard'''. It's quite natural to be conscious and care about the opinions of others because one of the biggest challenges in life is trying to be yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else which in actual fact is wrong

I am not immune to this as well as I ended up at some point worrying unnecessarily about what others would think and what was required of me to be liked and accepted. This ended up in an acute incapacitation that interfered with me being able to act normal around certain people, it was a price and burden too much to bear all in the name of social acceptance which isn't meant to guarantee a long-term effect but one which could disappear at any time. This I realized and asked myself these questions

Why should I do or not do things because of what others would think?

Why should I care so much about what others think of me?


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These were the questions asked that made me realize my actions shouldn’t be tempted or dependent on the fear of the fit in syndrome because really, why should I be scared of what others would think if I had a different viewpoint, spoke out about a particular issue differently or bother what people might think if I wore a particular outfit?

Just imagine if you stopped caring? How amazing and free your life would be with you enjoying the freewill to choose a particular type of job, adopt a religious path you believe in without been under any societal compulsion to comply with the general norm, speaking the truth and airing your views even if they differ from the general belief. Just imagine how amazing your life could be.

It could be helpful sometimes to hold on to the opinion of some people you trust such as friends and family members who could drive you to the right direction as opposed to that of those who might be out there ready to dish out hateful and spiteful comments. However, their opinions shouldn't suffice into another regulation you have to comply with but just a guide to help place you on the right path. You should define you and what you want to be, even extreme individuals end up finding a niche which makes the mentality of channelling so much energy into meeting up with a particular expectation rather than being your true self a pure case of gullibility and misplaced priorities.

With age comes wisdom is something I have learn't which made me conclude there are undeniable and overlooked ways of living life that could bring more happiness and fulfilment. Breaking free from the norm is one brave steps required of any individual who wants to define himself because life isn’t all about living in the moment but leading a life that makes you happy, free and fulfilling. A life of not giving a damn with the mindset that caring what others think will only result in a “life of murdered happiness.”


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You don’t have to be or act like anyone, so if you already are a puppet whose strings are being manipulated to dance to the tune of your colleagues, friends or the society....it's time to withdraw and leave behind that stoical obsession of the MUST fit syndrome.


Thanks for reading. feel free to drop a comment :)


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This is a very nice piece,

I think everyone having to fit in is to not go against the majority. It's easier said than done and trust me I'm still trying not to fit In. But if you truly want to be free of those strings then you must accept that those strings will try and hold onto you and it will come at a cost of great pain that you must endure to be rid of it.

Exactly, thanks for dropping by :)

People have to accept themselves first, be the weird/special you. That way one knows the friends (Even if it's a few) that they have are real. Though this shouldn't stop one from trying to improve themselves
Excellent post

Yes my friend, it's all about finding the special you and sticking to it that way life becomes easier and more flexible...Thanks :)