Poor you (and your daughter)!
I hat similar Problems. My daughter had s Hard Time learning to read and to write die to dyslexia, so for the first year homeworks werde a fight, tough I tried to keep out of the line. (No punishments (except no iPad before the homework is done). I explained her that it’s up to her wether she dies the homework it not and she Prefers Not to have Problems at School. Still all the crying and not wanting still was Time consuming and annoying. It got bettet in Second grade. It got Worse at the beginning of third grade with longer Hours at School, But them suddenly she began to do it all on her own while listening to Music or Other cds. That was Great.
There were two things that changed: one of her two teachers had changed and the new one was a Little stricter But also much more clear, which first annoyed her But them motivated her...
And i had worked a lot on myself with a FasterEFT practitioner Generalkonsulat and also on my own resistances. It was After that when she Startes working more independently.
So i think that‘s the Most Important thing you can do: work on your own feelings Howards School and homework and find out inhowfar she maybe Acts exactly like you do when it Comes to unwanted tasks and work on that.

Regarding the reading List: we basically mostly don’t do it. If we do it, then app. once a week. i look what she has read and write some pages of it on each day of the week.

But she hasn’t started reading for fun until we started our three months journey through USA and Mexico which we are on right now...

I hope you manage to relax your situation. I. Really hope it for you because I know how exhausting it can be to fight the same fight day after day after day...