An event happened on Sunday that got me into thinking. Before now, I have not given why young men and women rebelled against their parents thought. At a time, I rebelled against my father years back when he wanted to manipulate me into accepting the choices he made. This caused gulf in our relationship. For years there was no love lost between us.
His efforts to manipulate me into accepting his choices then infuriated me I acted in a way. I wish I did not act that way. Our relationship went sour. But we are back together. We were not happy that we allowed our differences to affect our relationship.
A teenage boy came into the room I was with anger. This young man is the only son of his parents. He is the only male among five children. The young man with anger uttered negative words about his mother behind her back. I called him when he made the statements to ask him what happened that made him spoke negative words about his mother.
He was raging when I called him back to tell me what was wrong. After about three minutes he told me what happened. He said his mother was insisting he should not sleep despite he was feeling sleepy. I advised him not to say negative words against his parents. Anyone who hears him will treat his parents with scorn. Also, I told him to call his mother and tell him what he was passing through. He thanked me for intervening in the matter.
When the young man left the room where I sat, I went into deep thought. What are the underlying reasons for a child to become rebellious when he has always been obedient? I knew I must find answers if I don't want to make mistakes most parents are making when my children get to the age that children always rebel against their parents.
I went online and researched causes of children's rebellion. There were causes I found that was surprising. I found articles that explained why a teenage child will rebel against his parents. Those articles opened my eyes to possibilities I didn't consider before now.
The first reason a teenage child will rebel against his parents is the struggle for identity. A teenage child when he is trying to figure out who he is and why he is here will not want to follow his parents' instructions. Some parents instead of listening and observing to know what their child is trying to do will try to force themselves on him. This can lead him to rebellion as he would see them trying to submerge his identity. Parents should help their children to find out who they are. They should not compound their struggles.
Two, a child may rebel against his parents if he feels they are curtailing his freedom of choice. As children get older, they want to make more decisions for themselves. They do not want their parents to always tell them what to do. Many parents find it difficult to understand that their children are at the age they want to decide for themselves. They still want to be in control of everything they do as they used to when they were younger. Parents should show their teenage children they will have more control over their decision-making when they can trust them to make wise decisions. They should let them know they can earn their trust when they showed them they can make wise decisions.
Parents should let their teenage children experience more freedom as they get older. As much as a child will want to have freedom, parents should let him know freedom comes with responsibility. When a child perceived that his parents are not trying to restrict him, he will be open to following their instructions instead of going against them.
Parents should not manipulate their teenage children into accepting their choices. If they do so, they may lose those teenage children to rebellion. They will know you are crafty in telling them to accept your choices. Let your children think for themselves and decide if they can have any benefit from your choices.
Another point I want to make is parents should not force their opinions on their teenage children. Though their children are young, it does not mean they cannot think for themselves. Parents will do well to convince their children it is in their best interest to accept their opinions.