How often don't you hear people say;
"I love him/her just because he/she is he/she"
or, "love people unconditionally"
Fuck that. Loving people, or even liking people is not something that you should do unconditionally. I know society and most people seem to believe that you should - but don't. It will mess up your life. Anyone who is my friend must be someone with a certain set of values that I respect. Not just tolerate, but respect. There must be something with that person that I admire and look up. Why should I spend time with someone that doesn't try to uphold the same standard as my self? Makes no sense really..
Especially when it comes to a girlfriend or a wife (or a boyfriend or husband if you're a woman or a gay person). Why on earth wouldn't I be picky in choosing the person that I am going to LIVE with and share everything with. It amazes me how many people - most actually! that end up with someone they don't even know or understand. They don't communicate, they don't share the same dreams and ambitions, and they don't have the same values.
You know, the typical doormat guy who is obviously uncomfortable at IKEA, and the girlfriend runs the show. Her favorite hobby is shopping, and his favorite hobby is computer games. But he has to be dragged along to all this shit he doesn't like to please his girlfriend. She grows tired of this spineless loser and let's just pray to Thor that they never get any children together.
Personally I could have ended up with pretty much anyone in my early twenties. Not the most popular guy with the ladies. My looks is pretty good - I'm a little biased but I'm pretty sure my wife agrees that I'm an 8. Not great looking, but I don't think my looks would ever be a problem with any woman. Luckily I found my wife instead of some skank, and thanks to her incredible ability to communicate and learn me how to communicate, we were able to grow together.
And here is the most important lesson. If you are TWO people working together for the same goals..you just hacked life my friend. All of a sudden you are TWO minimalists who save and invest money. You can discuss and take personality test and find out which one of you are good at what. My wife is the analytical personality. She has the highest IQ as well. So she can do any paperwork-related stuff. Me, I'm the investigator and loose cannon. I figure things out. I see trends, opportunities and I'm a great motivator. I'm pretty good at investing too..
So if you've got a person that is your spouse AND your partner in crime things are so much more easy. Sure, you share rent or pay down the mortgage with any ol' wife, but that's about it. Every month she goes shopping, she has a normal job, and watches idiotic tv-shows, while you watch Gary Vee, Grant Cardone and trade Cryptos and basically hoodl like crazy. You've got nothing in common. You're red pilled, and she is blue pilled and nothing can change that because you don't communicate, or are not able to communicate and your relationship is just hazzle and trouble and extra stress instead of a BOOST.
So kids, take this advice from someone who hacked relationships. You need to find someone who is just as great, motivated and ambitious as yourself. Doesn't mean you have to make a lot of money or be rich or anything - just find someone that is interested in the world, wants to learn, has moral values, relatively high IQ and wants to explore with you.
If you find that person you'll grow together. I personally can't believe the journey we've taken together. 10 years ago feels like ages ago, and we were two completely different persons.
Relationships are a business venture, nothing more. They've been that way for decades now. Dumbed down to the lowest common denominator, it's an exchange of sex and heirs for cash and prizes. There's really little else to it. You say companionship?
Get a dog.
Since relationships are a business deal, who in their right mind would accept a job role "unconditionally"? I know a gaggle of people and I can't think of even one that would accept a job role "unconditionally".
There will be conditions. A fit. A feeling that the exchange is going to benefit both parties.
Relationships should be no different. Typically, those that treat relationships different and use the word "unconditionally" are also the ones that are the most miserable and prime candidates for a short marriage. Their blithe innocence and ignorance will be their undoing.
ANY relationship needs conditions to thrive and to survive. Be it a true business relationship like a job, or a business relationship in bringing sex and heirs for cash and prizes. Without conditions, no one knows the rules of the game, and inevitably only one party will benefit.
I can't imagine a whole lotta people rushing out to be screwed over and allow themselves to be the one that will NOT be getting any benefit from the arrangement.
"Unconditional" is a fantasy. Pure hokum and tripe.
Preach!
Good post! Even Greek society split "love" into two kinds: Romantic love and "agape," or universal/brotherly love:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agape
Funny how modern English doesn't have language to express this dualism - similar to the concepts of tatamae and honne in Japan. It's totally possible to "love" mankind as a whole while loathing individuals - the New Age notion that "love and light" has to be extended to all individuals is, as you note, pure bunk at best and harmful at worst.
Interesting. Yeah, even in Norway we have a word for brotherly love so to speak. "Glad i deg". The closest word in English must be "I care for you" . "Elsker deg" is "Love you" which is very very strong in Norwegian. Something you only say to certain people, and for many very hard to say. But "glad i deg/care for you" is not as strong. It means love, but more casually thrown around - yet, not something you say to your buddy while you fistpump.
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