We come across thousands of people in life. Some stay momentarily while some stay for a really long time. In a way, we are like tourists in each others' lives. We visit, we share good and bad moments and we all cruise forward in the journey of life.
Just take a moment and think about the sheer number of people you've met since your childhood. It doesn't matter if it was even just at a coffee shop for five minutes. The number is pretty high, isn't it?
Sometimes I feel like Shakespeare really is correct and the whole world is just a stage and we are merely players, playing our roles for a limited time before taking a permanent leave.
If life is a play, it certainly makes for a very interesting one. Much interesting than any soap opera you might watch. That's because literally everyone you meet is wildly different than the next and the drama that ensues (good and bad) is something that just can't be made up.
Don't Cross Oceans...
We all learn right from our childhood that we must be good human beings. That entails, being kind to other people, helping them out, spreading love and joy in the world, and stuff like that.
And yet, when we grow up and start understanding what the 'real world' is like, we see that most people forgot to take that advice from their parents or teachers and have turned out the exact opposite.
Of course, not everyone is like that but enough people are, that make the world seem like a hostile place to live in. And I don't even mean it in a larger scale where countries are at war constantly with each other and there is some or the other conflict going on forever.
I mean, look at your own life and the plethora of negative people that "visit" from time to time. Even if you do an insane amount of things for them, you wouldn't even see a hint of something back in return. Not even a little gratitude or appreciation.
Yes, there really are people like that! But I don't need to tell you that, right? I am sure you've all had your fair share of such toxic people in your life where you cross oceans for them consistently and yet they always conveniently find excuses so they don't even have to jump a puddle for you.
Beware of such tourists in your life. Even if you can't stop them at the gates, you can quickly show them the said gates once you realise their true intentions. Such people are nothing but vampires that will suck the life out of you!
Why am I telling you this? Well, I am tired and I am guilty. I am guilty of doing the exact same things that I am suggesting you not to do. I am tired of going that extra mile for people who would disappear on me in an instant when I would need them.
In a way, maybe I am trying to explain all of this to myself. Writing does indeed help me think clearer and it does let out the innermost thoughts. Hopefully this makes sense to you as well and you take away at least something from this!
You can categorize them as selfish. They only think about themselves. Let us make the world a better place. lets help each other.
Yes, selfish would do it.
Much easier said than done. When you actually start to do it, and you don't get even a shred of appreciation back, there comes a time where all these thoughts do crop up in your mind.
I actually agree with this @shihabieee! But it is also OK to protect yourself from people who are truly toxic, which sounds like what you're talking about @sauravrungta . Like you said, when you don't get appreciation back ever, the thoughts crop up in your mind.
Because toxic people can slowly poison you to the point that you have nothing left to give to anyone anymore.
I have watched my mom give an give and give and give, no strings attached. It has physically affected her health.
She gave so much, that now everyone has used her up. They don't even show appreciation for her, and it is sad. It kills her soul. It kills her spirit.
She has gotten physically sick from giving SO much that she exhausted herself and couldn't get out of bed for a couple of days. The stress of trying to support too many toxic people, who just kept taking, made her get stomach ulcers.
She gives to the point that the people she gives to don't even try to help themselves anymore.
So this is where I've learned that SOME boundaries are okay, and if you can balance it with giving with no strings attached, while also protecting yourself from toxic people, THAT is the key.
Balance. It's always the thing.
"Because toxic people can slowly poison you to the point that you have nothing left to give to anyone anymore." <----- THIS!!! This is what I was trying to say throughout the post. Thanks for doing it for me! haha
I agree whole heartedly with your point of maintaining balance and will look to implement the same in my life as well :)
haha well I understood what you were saying! It makes total sense
I totally agree with you @shihabieee.
My family have been farming in this country for over 180 years ( and who knows how long in Ireland and Scotland before that)
My childhood experience of life on the farm left me with the impression that farming was the most undervalued profession in the world ( 50 years on I am wiser and sadly there are lots of professions as undervalued as farmers ).
This childhood experience encouraged me to choose a profession where I and the people I worked with were truly valued. And I did just that. In my day working in pharmacy was extraordinarily rewarding and people acknowledged that. I can remember one Christmas where we couldn’t find enough room for all the Christmas cards from the pharmacy’s customers in our lounge room and I put on 2kgs from the boxes of chocolates of thanks that came my way at Christmas,
For the last fifteen years I have been using my 25 years of experience in a truly rewarding profession to endeavour through as many innovative ways as I can to generate the same acknowledgement for farmers and its been a long haul . There have been many successes ( salute to the Young Farming Champions ) and a number of ongoing disappointments.
Glad that you found a profession where you feel valued and where you get so much appreciation from the people around you. Kudos!
@sauravrungta
this is an awesome story.Some information are unknown.its a amazing motivational post also. I really impress i this post.
Thanks!
We all learn right from our childhood that we must be good human beings. That entails, being kind to other people, helping them out, spreading love and joy in the world, and stuff like that.
This is what we have been taught, but it isn't the reality, being that much of kind these days may get you killed, I think in today's era to be happy we must not be too concerned about others. And for those who don't care about us, we shouldn't give a shit to them. Practical life is quit different from what we have been taught in childhood
You make an interesting point that we shouldn't be too concerned about others, to be happy, especially those that don't care about us at all. Caring for them would only spell trouble.
you said it right man, such people don't need our attention they must be thrown out of the lives and make new friends with what knowledge you have about a good friend, a good friend is worth a million books or library that's what we should look for a good and obedient friend 😊
Exactly! Clean up your life and fill it up with peopel that deserve to be in it :)
Beautiful and perfect blog ! I like it :)
Thank you :)
Hard lesson to learn...we are only given so much time, energy, resources while on earth...its important to learn who those people are that are worth investing in...thanks for reminder.
That's exactly right!
Beautifully written!
Thank you :)
Yeah, when you think about it, we are indeed like tourists in each others lives. Reading this brought back a lot of memories, cuz I started to think about all the people that I meet in my life. All the people that made me feel certain emotions (good and bad). And yet, most of those people don't exist in my life anymore.
Some I would like to come back, some I would never want to see again. I wonder do those people ever think about me as well? About the times we had? Good or bad, doesn't matter, but do they ever find themselves thinking about me?
Doing good things to others is what I often do, but I realized many times that it's not worth it. Some people will always treat you like trash no matter what you do.
Yeah, we are like tourists in each others' lives. And yeah I do think that everyone thinks about everyone else just like we do sometimes.
really sire I agree with you, I had the same situation so I have to leave one of my friends just because he wasn't a real one, he was telling me every time that I can't be a happy person, and how I'm a screwed person but I'm now after leaving him feels different I'm more confident ^^
hahhaha yeah, If someone tells you that, the first thing you need to do is get rid of them. You don't want such negativity in your life.
Psychologists say that the reason for hostility to the man in the projection. A projection is a defense tool that is based on attributing to another person a quality that has been pushed out of one's self. Simply put, irritation is caused by the fact that we do not allow ourselves or the trait of character, which is not allowed to be in their own personality. An unpleasant person can be anyone: a relative, a child, a colleague, a neighbor, a boss. Proximity and constant communication with the person causing irritation poison existence. Relations with close, but unpleasant people invariably deteriorate because of feelings of guilt for their own irritability.
I think that is a perfect analysis of such people. Well done!! :)
That mind-speech was the start for many suicides around the world...
I can somehow understand :(
Life teaches us at every moment, the difference is that weather we learn something from that or kept on repeating that mistake. Yes I totally agree with your point. We should be emotionally strong because people play with our emotions.
Yeah, you should learn form your mistakes and see to it that you never repeat them ever again. Totally agreed.
"In a way, we are like tourists in each others' lives. We visit, we share good and bad moments and we all cruise forward in the journey of life." <-- That's such an interesting way to put it. I never thought of it that way!!
Thanks for sharing it. Writing helps me think clearer as well.
It makes total sense. I'm glad for the reminder because I get attached to people too easily sometimes
Thanks for the kind words. I like to think about life in different ways. I'm a philosopher at heart, you see! hehe
It's totally fine to get attached to people. That's just the way we humans function. But getting attached to the right people is the key.
True! Maybe I'm a philospher at heart, too. I'm not sure. I'm definitely an over-analyzer, though, haha.
I agree that we shouldn't spend crazy amount of time for people who doesn't mean anything to me. For me, it's about picking quality friends and it's about enriching each other. It's supposed to be a mutually nourishing relationship. Yes sometimes I do meet the one-way 'tourists'. And I'm fully aware of their intentions.
Thanks for writing this honest post! @sauravrungta
What I have learned in my life is that, when it comes to people, we should be aiming for quality instead of quantity. If you 5 close friends who are truly your friends, then their effect will be far grater than even 100 other people who don't care about you at all.
People are forever ready to throw labels at you because you make them question their own fragile being. They are the selfish people, who want everybody to do and look the same. They gamble entire being to please their own soul. We are surrounded by the noise of people telling you who you should be. The noise of burden which our own society,friends,relatives and even
our parents put on us. The noise of failure projected onto us, by the people who themselves were not able to do things, make you believe that you too cannot do it
as well. They try to bring you down to their level.
Ditch them.
It does not matter who they are, their failure, their mistakes, their experience was the outcome their actions or inactions, not yours.
Believe in yourself. Shut that noise down and listen to your inner self. Get the right guidance and set the right path.
Do you know WHO knows how it feels like following your own path?
YOU
Only you know it. Not those who are dragging you down.
I loved these lines ---> "We are surrounded by the noise of people telling you who you should be." I think this is the perfect way to describe the society we live in today and it is really suffocating to be living in such a hideous society to be very honest.
I must say, you have a way with words and I agree with everything you have said here. Couldn't have said it better myself. And welcome to steemit :)
Thank you @sauravrungta
And I’m glad we crossed paths :)
Looking forward to hear more interesting stuff from your side.
Good day ahead :)
Thanks for the kind words :)
Thanks for this.