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Ryan,

oh, I'd be thrilled sir. I couldn't quite tell you what the trouble is, but the repository is here:

github.com/faddat/ingestron

One thing that I've learned since this post is that I was doing it wrong originally: I should have been using smaller functions. And I'm definitely happy to chat-- my e-mail is faddat@gmail.com, and the best way to get ahold of me is in fact google hangouts.