Everyone has a story!
I've always been one to reflect on the world around me and live in my own mind a lot of the time. I use public transportation to travel to work in an attempt to save some money and in doing so I naturally cross paths with many strangers on a daily basis. Often times I find myself wondering if each passerby had an autobiography what story would they tell.
It may be easy to dismiss the people that briefly enter our lives, but it's truly eye opening once you consider that their lives are just as complex as our own. While we may never learn the intricate details that makeup who they are it should be human nature to acknowledge their existence whether that be with a smile, pleasant greeting, or simple head nod.
A short story with an important lesson.
For about three years I lived in Downtown Phoenix, which has a descent homeless population scattered throughout the city. It was common to pass a few people living on the streets as you walked around moving from point A to B.
Being the observant person I am I started to watch the natural reaction of the pedestrians as they walked by the individuals who were usually asking for money or a bite to eat. Unsurprisingly, the common response was for the pedestrians to pretend they didn't see the homeless individual and ignore their request as they walked by.
This observation immediately changed how I interacted with these individuals as I made it a point to look them in the eye and provide a genuine response just to let them know they are visible. You may laugh and think that is somewhat silly, but I can't think of many things worse than feeling invisible in a very crowded world.
This theory was reinforced once when I pulled up to a red-light where there was a pedestrian crosswalk occupied by and elderly homeless woman. She proceeded to walk halfway across the road and then turned around to face all of the cars with a blank expression on her face.
She stood there for the entire duration of the crosswalk signal leading my girlfriend to ask the question "what is she doing"? I explained to her that I believe the woman wanted to force everyone to recognize her existence for a short moment by becoming a small disruption in their lives before moving out of the way and eventually becoming an afterthought.
Urban Dictionary: Sonder
This leads to one of my favorite words I have come across as it perfectly describes the complexity of everyone and their own unique reality as they see it. I share with you the following word:
Sonder
n. the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own—populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness—an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you’ll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk.
Great thoughts. Good to think about and so much of the time I am completely caught up in my own life.
Most of us are caught up in our own lives, which is understandable given the world that we live in. I just think it is healthy for everyone to be aware that the reality they see for themselves is not necessarily the same reality that exist for their fellow humans.
Just sent you 3 shares of @steembasicincome. You will start seeing upvotes in every single post in about 7-10 days. Enjoy.
Thanks man it's much appreciated!
Sorry I didn't see this in time to vote it. I will never forget the term "sonder". Thank you!
Oh no worries! I plan to keep writing articles here for a long time so you will have other opportunities :) I actually just posted a new one about a weird tourist attraction in Arizona that a buddy and I visited.
Sonder is by far one of my favorite words! I always look to share it with friends when I find out they have never heard it before.
I used to take long night walks and runs in downtown Chicago when I was stationed there for training and would take the time to talk to homeless people after I bought them a meal.
You would be surprised and saddened at how many of them were normal hardworking people part of the same social/economic fabric that we are until they came up against a knockdown punch like medical bills/divorce/getting layed off and suddenly were out on the streets. And good luck ever getting off the streets if you find yourself there. It will pretty much take a miracle. Or people who care enough to make some change.
You are correct not everyone has chose that life for themselves like most seem to believe. Good on you for taking the time to uplift them with a meal and a conversation. Because those two things are so common in our daily lives we underestimate how much of an impact they can have for others.
Lovely piece
I'm glad you enjoyed it and thanks for the resteem!
I’m sorry in advance if some of my words will sound cynical and cruel. In fact, I want to hear your and other people’s opinion on the things I’m going to share.
Throughout my life, I’ve had a mixed up feelings and attitude to the people who beg in the streets. I am from Kazakhstan, and our streets are filled with all sorts of homeless and begging people. As a child, I was told that I shouldn’t give money to begging gypsies because they’re all mafia and actually make fortunes on that. No offense to anyone but once I actually saw one of these gypsy beggars count the cash she had earned during that day. The pile of cash was massive!
Then I was told not to give money to the beggars who are in wheelchairs in certain places or just look in a certain way because they are part of mafia too. They had been kidnapped by some horrible people and forced to beg in the streets, and at the end the money that you give them goes to those at the top of this terrible well-organised chain.
I still give money to beggars, although not all of them. And at the times I don’t, I feel horrible about myself thinking ‘Who the hell am I to judge who is really a person in need and who is a fraud or a part of mafia?!”, and I walk past those poor people actually forcing myself not to look at them. Because of how ashamed I feel.
But you are so right. Everyone has their own story and the reason why they are where they are.
And you are also right about the desire of being acknowledged. I never thought of it before. Thank you for sharing this! It did in fact touch me (as you may probably see from my enormous comment) ❤️🙏🏼
Your words are nowhere near cruel and I thank you for sharing your thoughts. You may be surprised to find out that most people in America are also told by their parents to avoid our homeless population for the very same reasons. It is impossible to tell who is being genuine and who is not.
This is why I never hand over cash to anyone on the streets. My outreach is usually in the form of a friendly conversation, simple acknowledgement of their presence, or on occasion the offer of a free meal.
That approach allows me to avoid judging them in any unfair manner. I'm sure it's not the perfect approach in some people's eyes, but it currently works for me.
I actually think this is the best approach. Thank you 🙏🏼
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Great article.
This is just the type of Mindset I write about.
I am so glad to see others writing like this as well!
Keep up the great work.
Thank you for the kind words.
What a genuine thought. I believe we have all felt invisible in a crowded room at one time or another. It really is true how with our lives we get swept up and forget to be human. Thanks for reminding us. We all need this.
Indeed, no one is above feeling left out. A little compassion shown to strangers can go a long way in this world.
Never judge a book by its cover, amen to that. Thanks for sharing your content👌🍀❤️ Where are you from? Have you ever been in Amsterdam?
I'm from the U.S. and nope I've never been to Amsterdam. I've traveled the world a good bit, but still haven't made it to Europe. Maybe someday I will :)