While on a road trip across West Canada a few months ago, I was listening to an audiobook series by Robert Anton Wilson, in which he shared one of his outlooks...

Every politician is either stupid, crazy, or a bullshitter.

Thing is, I don’t remember exactly whether he was directly focusing the truth of the statement to reference only politicians, or whether there was a potentially broader application, in which he had meant that everyone - even not politicians - are either stupid, crazy, or a bullshitter.

Being one to often “overanalyze,” the concept stuck with me - as I occasionally would come back to the question of not which of the three I might be, but how it was that I’ve played the bullshitter - while bullshitting myself, so as to not even really know it.

Of course, such terms such as “self-awareness” are relative. Though, there’s enough self-awareness to know and admit I'm not stupid. Nor crazy. Yet, as to where I'd be a bullshitter... an upgrade in self-awareness might still be required to pick that one off.

Possibilities...?

Maybe the grandoise sense of self I spent a large portion of my life trying to convince myself of and had projected outwards. (Perhaps part Leo Ascendant, too?)

For years, I may have bordered on narcisstic - whether holding myself in high regard due to a higher-than-average level of intelligence, talent, and ambition, overcompensating for a deep sense of insecurity, or more likely, a combination of both. Whatever the case, I had not yet developed the character to truly back the confidence. And I had both tried to delude myself into thinking I was next to God-like - and sell others on that belief, even if not directly. There was probably alot of bullshit in that.

Or perhaps the conviction with which I advocated certain ideas and imposed my beliefs and values on others...

From self-righteous extremist views on health matters, to business ideologies, and even things like praising Steemit as the holy grail of lifestyle design... my enthusiasm has not always been balanced, and I've frequently sensationalized sharings to manipulate context so as to reinforce my beliefs while weaving the subcontext to paint others in opposition to them as wrong. Yeah, guilty as charged.

Granted, I've matured at least a bit over the last few years, such that I'd hope such type of bullshit hasn't continued sneaking past the filters of self-awareness and discernment.

But then again, part of being human entails having blind spots...

(And given that "smart/stupid" is essentially relative, one such blind spot could be that I'm not a bullshitter, though just selectively-stupid).

Crazy... I don't buy it.

The idea in general, I mean.

It's a term that gets thrown around loosely, essentially as a label on anything that we're not humble enough to simply state, " I don't understand this," or "this makes me uncomfortable because it challenges my ability to be comfortable with that I cannot control or easily make sense of."

"Crazy" is an abstraction. With typically-negative connotations.

Calling someone "crazy" is a cop out. It removes responsibility to probe deeper and understand the complex web of factors driving one's thoughts and behaviors. It's a shortcut to putting someone in a box and write them off, rather than put in the effort to learn the lessons they may have to offer.

Most people who'd fit into the conventional "crazy" category merely have a shitload of buggy programming.

Unprocessed memories. Unresolved traumas. Faulty beliefs. Shitty self-images. Conflicting values.

Sometimes, chemical imbalances. Whether from genetic predispositions, traumatic imprints, dietary & environmental factors, or corresponding mental-emotional-spiritual imbalances.

Not "crazy." Just the inevitable chaotic outcomes of a messy web of internal coding overdue for an upgrade.

But most people generally don't give a fuck about that.

They'd rather just write a person off who acts in ways too far out of cultural norms.

Though back to the bullshit...

Maybe writing like this is a fine example.

Pulling something seemingly random outta my ass - an application of creativity to the ends of producing something that has some sort of illustrious aura to it and sounds good... perhaps if for little more purpose than to fill space justifying a self-serving payout.

Who's to judge what's "bullshit" and what isn't, really?

Sure, there is the "bullshit" that may be straight-up lies, misinformation, and all varieties of manipulative rhetoric. Though then again, some could just be alot more innocent - plays on words, experimentation with ideas, and ventures into the imagination which are no more or less "real" or of "substance" than other ideas which might gain more acceptance due to their resonance with culturally-approved belief systems.

Most all of the time we’re writing - perhaps unless it’s an objective, factual account of events - aren’t we just moreless *pulling words out of our ass - i.e. “bullshitting” our way through, in a sense?

Without question, were a person to spend years writing, there’d undoubtedly be a large amount of “bullshit” produced in the process.

For myself, some of that definitely came in feeding an appetite conspiracy theories - both in unwisely sharing underdeveloped perspectives and misinformation out of context with others on social media in attempts of validating overly-pessimistic views on the world. There was alot of bullshit in that phase.

Or perhaps even the years I’d spent journaling - compiling mounds of books filled with neurotic ramblings, when I could have channeled all that scattered creative energy into something perhaps more constructive for the service of others, rather than the service of destructive patterns of addiction to self-indulgent overanalysis - be it through writing in another format for public, following through with musical ambitions, or creative business ventures...

a decade worth of neurotic rambles.

Yet...

Just as “crazy” might not “exist” in the sense people commonly accept it to, as described above... or “stupid” might be relative, a term dependent upon a contrast measured on a spectrum... so too, may there be other dimensions to “bullshit...”

Without question, “bullshit” is a term packed with negative connotations. Yet, is that not merely cultural judgement of something as simple and standard in nature as the excrement of a living being, the byproduct of biological functions?

Bulls shit. Just like any other animal.

And while the product might have gotten a bad rep for whatever reason, manure has always been a nourishing ingredient for new crops.

Bullshit, in particular, for none other than magic mushrooms.

Yep.

As anyone who’s tripped on psycilocybin can attest to, magic mushrooms are just straight fucking awesome.

The magic that can come through their experience... profoundly epic beyond description.

*And the bullshit serves as the catalyst to the growth of this lifeform, which can be a gateway to marvels of reality unexperienceable any other way.

Ponder that for a moment.

So...

If actual bullshit can lead to the marvels beyond the gate of psychedelic mushrooms... what’s to say that the bullshit generated through the creativity of man might not also sometimes serve as a potential catalyst or gateway to new, amazing dimensions to explore...?

If we’re just pulling words out of ass when we write, maybe it is all bullshit we’re just making up as we go.

Yet, within the soil of our words, may be planted the seeds of ideas that could grow such that upon ingestion - with the right set and setting, just as with any other psychedelic - one’s consciousness can be bridged and senses opened to new realms in which possibilities and magic abound...?

(Or was that just some stupid, crazy, bullshit...?) 😉