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7 years ago in #life by rok-sivante (77)
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How do you manage to write this shit which feels like you've put your hand in my heart and read my inner thoughts and decide that you are going to help me through it?
I know that sounds mega extreme but it's THE truth.
This series could not have come at a better time.
I have been dealing with sadness and depressed states for quite a while now and I just do NOT seem to be able to get out of it. And indeed it is by surrendering to it, realizing that it's not all me who is causing my suffering but thousands of years of messed up shite happening and through the deep embracing of these waves that I am able to cope (even though sometimes I feel like I am falling apart but hey, part of the ride right?).
So really, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for helping me to understand that I am not a huge fuck up. That I am actually pretty damn good and this is just a wave, a spell, a transformation that I need to embrace, love and move through.
You are effin' great!
💓🎈💥🙌✨🌸❣⭐💫🌻
Ok... I wasn’t able to read through all of this without breaking some tears.
How do I manage to write this...? years of life’s trials, challenges, tests, searching, studying, practicing the craft, throwing myself into a breadth of depths that might not seem to make any logical sense on the surface, yet formed the dots to be connected together and substance to be fed through these sharings.
And I could still be completely wrong.
My initial reaction was to embrace your appreciation with deep gratitude and awe that all these lessons learnt the hard way were worth something - that could be paid forward to benefit someone else. But there also came the flip side - questioning if it’s all just bullshit wrapped up in a pretty package, and I’m the one being schooled - that you never needed any help to “understand you aren’t a huge fuck up,” questioning if I came across as self-righteous, needing to try convince anyone of that - (perhaps as a projection of some sort)...?
Not sure if any of this is making sense right now. Mind kinda spinning. Both touched and troubled in so many ways. Lol.
You are appreciated. 💓
I totally get what you mean!
But really aren't we all just schooling/helping/teaching/learning from one another?
The fact is that you wrote something and it resonated. And vice versa.
It's good to have thoughts about wondering if you are 'right' or 'wrong'. It keeps you humble right?
And I feel like it's all part of this journey. The unknowingness. The feeling that our truth right now makes sense but knowing that possibly later it could be a whole different other truth. And that is okay.
Your truth makes sense to me right now.
And I am glad you are here.
🌷
yep. and yep.
and same. :-)
Thanks great story and subject area again rok. The study of epigenetics I find very interesting, and the idea of memories passing from parent to child. We humans sure seem to come with emotional baggage of one sort or another, etched into our DNA. Just look at what a calamitous past we have risen through and continue to blend with.
your welcome.
interesting times we're living in, so much more insight into all these matters opening up. reality is in the midst of quite some huge changes as we learn to work with these processes...
Thank you so much for these posts rok-sivante as they were needed for me to read right now. I love your lines,
"The waves will keep coming.
So, best learn to surf."
This is so true and depression and anger is something I have gone through since I can remember. As I try to mentally process the underlying reasons i'm at a loss, because I know when the emotions begin to rise, but it feels as though i'm surfing through a wave that I know is about to pummel me and there is nothing that can be done except keep on keepin' on. Look forward to reading more of your writings. I also really like how you can relate computers, psychology and meta-physics and show how complex system are all tied!
😊💖
Nice post
NICE POST.
Seems intresting, let me start from part one. Also how cam i read the 2&3?
Can just check on my profile/blog - or Part ONE is here and the links to three and four are at the bottom of each preceding... :-)
Good jop friends
Rok thank you very much for making so many votes for my posts! Would you please add me to your witness votes also because I am giving all of my witness earnings back to advertising Steem as explained in my last post?
I’m not inclined when it comes to technical matters like these...
Give me a simple instruction for how to do it, and it’s done.
Sure would you go to https://steemit.com/~witnesses and click the button next to jerrybanfield because that will place the vote?
Done.
Rok thank you very much for voting for me as a witness!
Wow I fucking love the surfing/wave analogy.
It's a hard thing to grasp, but the struggle and suffering are essential yeah?
I mean honestly, without getting too philosophical, what are without the struggle?
And ultimately, the answer lies within you. It's always a choice.
That's all I can say.