Only you could combine killer heels with a dog pooping and a chicken called Sex. Please at least call it Pecker. I see euphemisms in everything.
Ps. At 40 I bought cowboy boots. Boy they made me feel infinitesimally more kickass than I was. Or am.
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We have decided to stick with Pecker. As it turns out, she is very appropriately named. She does not have a penis, but she does peck more than a normal chicken. Every time I pick her up it is like Armageddon to my wedding ring.
I am visualizing you in cowboy boots now, and you are right, totally kickass. Maybe I should get some too.