I'm reminded of Sthira-sukha here - given the body imagery I imagine you'd relate to that too. THere's a balance between strength, steadfastness, sureness, conviction and sweet surrender and letting go, and we always seem to be vacillating between the two.
I love the femininity here - it's hard for us to relinquish personal power as it's so hard won in a world that expects us to be soft and compliant. We find ourselves fighting and resisting because to be vulnerable CAN come at a great personal cost. But then it's true for all of us - the tension between forcing things and allowing things, really.
I am finding letting go a rather big theme at the moment - so this resonated with me. People say to be patience, to allow time to pass, so just give in to the process. That doesn't make it any easier, to have that knowledge or advice. WE can say lean in, be vulnerable, accept, breath, release - but in practice, it's a lot harder.
I do. Very much. This was originally a yoga post, but spiraled into other areas. Being here where life happens is such a beautiful trick, but a really weird one, no? It doesn't matter how many times you learn how to do it, you still can forget it sometimes.
Ha, left a similar comment on your new post (well, a bit of it anyway). Of course, easier said than done. Maybe you're not supposed to let go? I think all the words come out of a place of both love and fear. People who love you want you to not hurt anymore. But we're also afraid. Grief is scary and we treat it like it's infectious. I want you to stop feeling so bad because you remind me it's gonna happen to me, too.
Again, I don't know if you're supposed to let it go. 'Cause there's this underlying notion that you're supposed to let go and eventually stop hurting and rebecome the person you were before somebody died. Except how does that work? They were there before and were a major part of you, so how?
Maybe you're not supposed to let go, maybe you're just supposed to learn to live in this new reconfiguration. We wouldn't say let go to someone who'd just moved halfway across the world if they kept having flashbacks about their old life.
So instead of 'let go', feel what you feel. You will not feel it forever. Even if you feel hopeless, angry, lost and hold on to it till your fingers bleed, you will still not feel it forever. Whether you personally let go or not, things will rearrange themselves anyway, time will pass. You're okay (even when you're not).
❤️ you.