Are differences in behavior between two children not the result of a relaxation of education?
In two generations, education has become less authoritarian, which has allowed each child to develop to his or her measure. It is therefore normal that the differences are very large today within the siblings. What disconcerts parents is the lack of guidance on the management of the group: almost always, the help concerns "our" child, whereas the difficulties often arise from the fact of having several. Indeed, how to intervene in their relations between them?
Today, there is much talk of a necessary return to authority. Is this contradictory with a real flexibility of education?
The question of "landmarks" has become obsessive. I believe above all that the child must learn to have his world, but with defined rules. To make sense of it, parents must show that they too live in a mode organized by laws and that they have constraints, making life possible for all. The child's adherence to the proposed framework enables him to develop the collective dimensions of his identity, as rich and singular as it is. To help them live as a group, it is good to teach them to respect the affairs of others, not to think that they are superior and to participate in the common life.
Can our children finally grow up freely, irrespective of stereotypes about gender or character?
The issue of stereotypes is complex. If it concerned only the color of the sweaters or the opposition between the truck and the doll, it would be simple! But everything in the house reminds us that there are differences of sex and it is very difficult to erase them. For example, the child sees his father watching L'Equipe while his mother reads a female magazine. Just by taking a look at the images, he will see that they are two very different worlds.
The stereotypes, in the end, is the difference of the sexes that we do not want, even if it catches us inevitably! Parents are caught in contradictory tensions: respect each child and ensure that everyone is treated well. This is what leads to the fear of doing wrong and therefore to the fatigue of being a parent! Perhaps we should begin by not being indignant at being just what we are: a father and a mother, each with its history, but also a man and a woman.