[I haven't done a "Kid" story in a while so I thought I'd do one today- My computer shit the bed early this morning and I didn't get my new (used) one in time to do a chapter of the Night Gods. I guess I got my $25.00 worth out of my old one in the last 5 years]
I keep hearing stories about people "falling through the cracks." I've spent my life trying to crawl out... Hell, I was born between the cracks, I guess and every time I try to crawl out, somebody or something kicks me back down. Salmon swim upstream to spawn every year... I've been swimming upstream for the last 72 years- and I have no intention to stop swimming!
I figure I had a shot at a "normal" life at one point- giving the sperm donor the benefit of the doubt. If he and my mother weren't married, they were in some semblance of a committed relationship. I'm not complaining now- I did get a free set of encyclopedia out of the deal. But he was the first one to kick down through the cracks.
My mother and Nonna (her mother who stayed with us for a bit), I guess worked with me to learn to read. By the time the queers got me after she died (I was 5) I could pretty much read those encyclopedia... what I didn't know I figured out for myself. Although reading couldn't pull me out of the cracks, books- especially those encyclopedia- kept me from sinking deeper. Books were my refuge from the abuse... Until Uncle Arthur found me and pulled me up.
After about 2 1/2 years with Uncle Arthur, he died and I got kicked back down. I did what I could to keep from sinking deeper, mostly stealing cars... It's kinda hard to get a job as a bank president at 12 or 13. At 17 I joined the Navy... this was another opportunity to climb out from in between the cracks- for good this time. I fully intended to make a career out of the service... it was going to be the home I always wanted.
Well, true to form, that didn't last. While I was in Vietnam I got caught for using a made up SS number to get in. I was recruited by another government agency and spent a couple of years as an "independent contractor." When I came home I had a fist full of cash and nowhere in particular to go. I didn't want to be a car thief anymore, so after a stint as an undocumented pharmacist I went into the construction business.
I was doing pretty good with my remodeling business... I had a builders license, insurance for my company and men, 5 trucks, 25 guys working for me- I even got a real SS number. And then, alcohol got me- I guess I kicked myself down deeper that time. When I couldn't get anymore work in Boston, I took my act- along with my alcohol addiction on the road.
In New Orleans I ran into a guy I knew from Nam. He was recruiting "consultants" for Central America... $100,000 for 6 months- all you had to do was live to collect it. Well, I did. It doesn't take as long as one might think to go through that kind of cash. I bought a 1957 Jaguar XK 150 ($35,000) and it was a thing of beauty. But like all alcoholics, I hadn't kicked myself far enough back down between the cracks. By the end of 1987 I had drunk myself into a state of unemployability. If God hadn't intervened in my attempt to get sober- I'm convinced I wouldn't be telling this story now.
It didn't take very long, after getting sober, for me to start the long climb back out of the cracks. I got married, started a family, had a pretty good job- then I let my wife talk me into moving the family to Michigan, her home. We got there just in time to witness the funeral of the American auto industry. Michigan turned into desolation row. I ran a bakery at a local supermarket for a while- then they went under (I swear it wasn't my fault). No job, no prospects, I applied for a job selling advertising for a radio station. I put on the application I was a high school grad (nobody checks that stuff anyway)... The guy checked!
Still no job, still no prospects, I got my GED and went to college. During college I met up with a professor that got me to publish a paper- then he started to recruit me for the Council on Foreign Relations. He guaranteed me any PhD program I wanted any college anywhere... but there was a catch (isn't there always?). I had to give up my family... they wanted me but not them. The sole reason I went to college in the first place was my family... so I politely told him and his friends in the CFR to "Fuck Off." When those guys kick you through the cracks, let me assure you, you know you've been kicked. (As t turns out I should have taken up on his deal) I wound up with no PhD (only an MA), no job, no family and massive student loans- still in default.
Now here I am... 72 years later- still swimming upstream- still peeking up from the cracks- still waiting for the other shoe to drop. Who knows... maybe, thanks to Steemit, I'll finally make it out.
GIF by @papa-pepper
Thank you for the authenticity of your post.
This ride called life isn't easy.
Sharing the rough path you've had, not mincing words, reminds the rest of us that the Madison Avenue version of life that gets shoved down our throats every day is an unrealistic ideal intended to make us feel 'less than' and manipulate us out of our time, money, and self-respect.
Be real, be authentic, be honest.
You never know who you're guiding by sharing the lessons life has taught you, and the price you had to pay.
'Nuff respect brother 🤝
@scan0017 🤜🤛
Thank you my Brother!
This post received a 4.15% upvote from @randowhale thanks to @richq11! To learn more, check out @randowhale 101 - Everything You Need to Know!
You're not fallen now, you are picking yourself up like a phoenix rising from the ashes.
I am the one that had fallen from the cracks and then a quick-dry concrete was poured after. @richq11
I feel like a phoenix... old and burned up!
Excellent read sir rawness so real you hit the nail on how life really is not cookie cutter shit bravo 🤗😊👏👏👏👏
Thank you.
You sober yet? Got to be some commonality between the cracks. 🐓🐓
30 years in Jan.
Then forgive me. I was speaking from experience. You are an extremely talented writer. 🐓🐓
Thank you... I hope to be a talented writer someday.
I think you are there already. Thanks for your reply. Didn't mean to sound like such a jerk.
30 years is quite a feat.
It is my only true success i life as it is God given. Without it I am nothing. 🐓🐓
I know exactly how you feel! Almost everything good in my life has come after I got sober.
Me too! To lose it all, would be so easy. I try never to take the gifts for granted. 🐓🐓
I love to read your kid stories, dear Rich. They are like lesson of life. Strong, hard or sad or happy too, but always lessons of life.
They're not sad to me... just things that are over now and can't hurt me anymore. Thank you my dear Silvia... you are the most kind person I know!!!
wow nice bloge
i follow u please follow me sir...........
If you want people to follow you... don't beg! It pisses people that work hard off (like me). If you want followers- do something worth following!
very nice story information. And picuter shearing thank you
Life is a shit sandwich and it is always lunch time.
You must have some great stories even if they are nsfw, having heard a couple from other " consultants".