While I'm recovering from my recent roofing adventure healing up for round 2, I thought of a funny story from when The Kid was in the construction business.
When I roofed, my billing practice was 1/3, 1/3, 1/3. One third up front to cover materials, one third upon completion, and the final third after the first rain when the customer could see that my roofs don't leak (and I'm still batting 1.000).
I got a call to N. Cmabridge just around the corner from my girlfriend's house to re-roof a house belonging to a Harvard professor. He wanted a bid on a modified mansard with a bunch of dormers- a real pain in the ass. We negotiated a price, I explained the billing procedure and he agreed. When the roof was finished, I got my second payment. The first rain came about a week later.
At 2:30 AM my phone rings and it's the prof, freaking out: "My roof's leaking!" I jump out of bed, get in my truck and race to N. Cambridge. I grab my flashlight and go up into the crawl space and it's dry as a bone... in all the roofs I've done, I never had a single one leak. I tell this guy, who's running around wringing his hands like some old queen, that there's no leak. I told him to go up and look... "Oh no," he exclaims, "there's spiders up there." He brings me into one of the upstairs bedrooms and shows me a waterstain... "It's getting bigger, I'm sure of it." Very patiently- after getting roused out of a good night's sleep for nothing- I explain to this assclown that for a waterstain to grow, first the plaster has to get wet. Then it has to dry- this takes several days to a week, minimum. Then the stain appears. "Well," he huffs, "I'm not paying!"
Now in Massachusetts, graft is an artform and it doesn't matter how good of a craftsman you are, if you don't grease a few palms- you ain't going nowhere in the construction trades. There was a building inspector, Bill, that I had a good relationship with... he liked VO and I made sure to have a fifth for him when he came to look at my jobs. So, I called him up the next day and we headed up to N. Cambridge to have a look. He went up into the crawl space and no leak, of course. He tells the prof: "Your roof is fine- pay the guy."
The deadbeat professor tells Bill: "I'm a professor at Harvard..." Bill cuts him off with: "I don't care if you're a professor at Harvard or Jesus Christ on a fucking bicycle- this roof doesn't leak... and if I were you I'd give this guy his money, because if I have to take a day off work to go to court- this is going to cost you plenty." I got my money!
I don't know what it is with professors... it seems that they must have to take a test or something to make sure they don't have any common sense. When I was in college, I used to make money doing home repairs for the faculty. I have a guy ask me one day, how much I'd charge to replace some locks.
I went over and took a look and there were five locks he wanted replaced. I told him, there's nothinmg wrong with them, all he had to do was have them rekeyed... and I'd take care of the labor for $10.00. Oh no... he wants the whole things replaced- so I tell him $10.00 apiece. We go to the hardware store and he buys the exact same locks!
While I was doing the job, this guy (Mr. Political Correctness on campus) is standing there watching me, smoking up my cigarettes and complaining about how stupid black people are and how they don't belong in college. Then he turns to me and says; "It's a wonder the way you can do handy work like that... I wish I could."
I tell him "John, it's two fucking screws- there's only one way to do it."
"Well," he says, "I'd never have figured it out."
This guy was making $75,000 a year and he couldn't replace a doorknob! Life just ain't fair!!!
you are great as always!!! awesome post...i followed you...
:) Just makes me smile reading this. So true. Just think of all the ass clowns running the world...............
Thanks... It's beyond sad- people pay huge amounts to have their kids "educated" by these morons!
Life not being fair should come as no surprise. People quickly becoming stuck up when they are in a position of authority shouldn't either. It's actually very very easy to do.
I used to be a teacher for a short while back in the day and I did notice changing me. Spending the majority of your time in a room talking about a subject you are supposed to be the authority on messes with your head like it or not. I was in my mid twenties and I started catching myself treating people like my parents with a very special teachery condescension, explaining things I was not an expert on to them as if they were children. It goes without saying I started checking myself for that a lot, but I'm sure it still had some effect. University professors are most probably prone to the exact same thing.
Upvote back dear
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Ah yes...you can buy an education, but you cannot buy common sense! xD
Well, the kind of people that are a real joy to work for are people that could do it themselves, but don't have the time (or some such reason).
They know what you did, know what they are asking for, and know quality when they see it.
But, this is rarely the type of person you work for.
Two screws? It would take me longer to dial the phone.
The type I really hate are those that think they know the job better than you, and from almost the moment they opened their mouth, you realized they don't know shit.
I have heard the remark, “those who can’t do, teach” sounds like your experience.
I hate to say it but some of the rich wouldn't know how to change a light bulb among many other things because its always been done for them.
Really good post :) feel like i want to read it, Because it was really awsome, great post :))
I am so far behind, catching up now :)