I'll not joke around here but I wasn't raised well, I was dragged through the mud kicking and screaming through my childhood. Yeah, my Dad earned a fair bit when my Mum lived with him, but we never seen any of it. That cash was reserved for pimping out his lifestyle back in the UK when we were still in Russia, barefoot. When Dad died I caught a pay-slip from 1985 stashed somewhere in his coffers and he had earned £30,000 for that year. Now I'm no finance guru but from what I understand that was quite a bit back then. Us, though? We didn't see any of it. Not that I mind of course, or feel like I've missed out, only that I'm painting a picture for you.
We were dirt poor
When Mum moved back to the UK after she had told my Dad to go and get fucked we were really poor. We moved in with Gran and Grandad and shared a bed in their two-bedroomed house. I was five so it wasn't that much of a problem. Gran and Grandad were factory workers and lived on an ex-council house estate with mostly other elderly people that had been through the wars. It wasn't long before we had our own house near my Grandparents and lived there for quite a long time. To say that I lived a life of privilege would be to admit that you know not much about my life.
There are times in my life I can remember getting a packet of pens for my Christmas because we barely had a pot to piss in. I grew up having to invent stories of my parent’s greatness because when other kids were getting all the new toys and fangled gizmos, I never had anything. There was a craze that was going around in the 80s; the coca cola yo-yo's. If anyone was at school at the same time then you'll understand how uncool you were if you didn't have one. I never had one and I can remember trying to borrow my friend’s yoyos all the time. Privilege? Nah!
I recognise my privilege
I understand my privilege though, don't get me wrong. I still had a roof over my head, food to eat and a mother that worked damned hard to bring all this to my table, which is a lot more than say the African that travels twenty miles to fetch water for his family, and then pray that the local donkey hasn't pissed in the well again. Amongst my peers I was terribly under privileged, but in a worldly sense I was one of the most privileged people on the planet. Free healthcare, food on tap, free education, house, love, all those things, not having a Dad and growing up and a sense of deep insecurity is miniscule in the grand scheme of things.
How do you explain privilege to a broke ass white guy, though? It's not black and white and never will be. How do I become understanding of the middle-class feminist that screams "smash the patriarchy" in my face when all she's known is love throughout her life and has always had everything she wanted? How do I explain to the black guy that manages a horde of people in his industry that because of his upbringing and background he has access to a lot more opportunities than me? And that because I'm white makes no difference. How do I explain to the college educated homosexual that perhaps he may be discriminated over his sexuality but he has access to knowledge, places and societies that I'll never be welcome in?
It's never straight forward
It's NEVER black and white, and although I'm using my class to make a point it shouldn't be about that either. I reject class archetypes in their fullest because people are placed in their class types through circumstance, and that is out with anyone’s control. I've always been of mind that we should be helping each other achieve more anyway, rather than cutting each other down and becoming separatist in our ways.
I recently came across something called intersectionality, and I like that idea better:
Intersectionality
the interconnected nature of social categorizations such as race, class, and gender as they apply to a given individual or group, regarded as creating overlapping and interdependent systems of discrimination or disadvantage. "through an awareness of intersectionality, we can better acknowledge and ground the differences among us"
It's a really good word really, because it doesn't blanket statement an entire category, it takes into account the circumstances of the individual and not the umbrella they seek shelter under. I'd love for more intersectionality in this world! It'd make my life easier and yours. To understand that we are far more alike than divided.
We are stronger together
Regardless of all our neat little boxes we seem to have recently placed ourselves in I’ve always said we’re more similar than not. We may be black or brown, homosexual or transgender, male or female, rich or poor, left or right, but we are still human. We still want the same things out of life and try to achieve those in the best way that we can with what we have at our disposal. It’s time to start thinking about what we can achieve united rather than all this petty, I’m this and you’re that. But I digress, we’re probably hundreds, if not thousands of years away from that.
Perhaps Steemit may be a building block amongst many, a step in the right direction for a change? Who knows? Time will tell.
Thanks for listening :)
I know that its not the best experiance to go through as a child but at least you can say you will never have that happen to your kids. There are parents that dont even try for isntance my step sister who sells all of the present my mom gets for her kids. Now thats just wrong, she has fallen into the pit were you fail and you just give up, now shes a drug addict and has 5 kids but my mom wants to show simpathy to the kids but cant because of my step sister.
Thanks for the post, made me remeber when my parents penched pennys to get a loaf of bread
Being an addict is hard. I've been one too! Glad you liked my post :)
é isso ai amigo vivendo e aprendendo com palavras maravilhosas como seu post @raymondspeaks
Obrigado :)
You seem to have had a difficult childhood and being able to write about it in such an exceptional way is extraordinary. I am glad I got to read your post. It is late in Greece so good night man
Night! :)
We all want the same things in life, security, happiness, health, we just need to accept we all come at it from a different direction.
'tis right, friend :)
Great post man. I am just like you, I live with my mom who is a single parent, and making around 20-25k a year living in Cali. Stuff is so expensive here. Rent is 1,100 for only a studio apartment. Its smaller than a bedroom. Its crazy how expensive it is not to include food etc. So i feel what you had to go through all the way.
Yup! I feel your pain! I hope it gets better for you. Steemit will help, perhaps!
Seems like you have been trough a lot. But you got out strong!
"When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive, to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love." -Marcus Aurelius
Cheers:)
Ah, I love Marcus Aurelius quotes. Thanks :)
Spot on then ;) Great writing btw!
Thank you!!
White privilege is just a thin veneer to be a racist, and the cause division in the populous. It's inverse racism, period.
Yup. I've heard people say 'but you can't be prejudiced against white people' - oh but you can, just in the same way you can be prejudiced against men, or heterosexuals etc etc!
If you're shouting out at someone that's never caused you any harm before then you are prejudiced, period.
Wow you post most nice
Thank you!
Privilege is when the rules don't apply to you, not when you have a thing or do not have a thing. That is wealth.
There is no such thing as white privilege because there is no rule a white person can bend or be immune from just because they are white.
People who are denied access to normal things are oppressed, but people who have access to normal things are not privileged.
Yup, so you agree with what I'm saying then? :)
I addressed all of that in the article my friend!
I feel for the donkey that try's to piss in a well lol.
Hah.
I can appreciate this. I have also had the sane thoughts on reference to race, class, privilege etc. I do believe that at the core we are all HUMAN beings, i mean hello, we share that in common! ! I had a bad childhood and was abused. I have ptsd and problems from it. We were a decent looking family to everyone
When it finally came out what was happening behind closed doors and within those four Walls? *gasp, them really? *
White family, middle class, what the Fuck ever. Appearances are not everything.
Exactly. I've found a lot of middle class circles are less likely to shout about it too because of appearances. Like you said.. our shit stinks the same whatever class and background we have!
I hope the abuser got his just deserts, and well done with dealing with what happened openly, it's not an easy thing to do.
Thank you and no it is not.
Intersectionality. I like it. I can't see it happening anytime in the near future. But I like it!
There are so many variables that make the equation of the individual. I've met a homeless nomad who loves that life who was one of the most intelligent humans I have encountered. And I have watched privileged college kids losing IQ points on the Jersey Shore.
My youngest son is trying to join Steemit. He has been fascinated by watching me. He had a profound moment when we were putting the candy in the jar for our steemit contest yesterday, and told me that I need to do another one soon with all colors and sizes to represent that anyone can join and succeed on Steemit.
Proud Mama :D
Yup. Same! I've met homeless people that are abundantly happy and wouldn't change their life for anything and I know people that have everything you can think of yet are desperately unhappy and always trying to be 'better' than their peers. Not in this lifetime, no.
I love Darwins explanation of evolution. "It's not the strongest that will survive, it is those that are robust enough to withstand change"
You son sounds awesome! More of that please :)
I'm happy he's wanting to join, he's going to make a wonderful addition :)
If he's anything like you I'll be following him :)
I was just in a deep discussion on this topic with someone the other day. It's tricky. It really is. I'm from the US, so I'm sure we have a different brand of racism than the UK but here goes...
I hear what you're saying and understand. I believe privilege is relative, right? Like the example you used about knowing there'd be food on the table. Of course, I'm sure everyone around you has that, so you don't see it as a privilege (though more people in the world don't have a guarantee of a bowl of rice, let alone a dinner).
At least in America - white privilege comes into play when you get pulled over by a cop and don't have to fear for you life. (I don't know if you've heard, but it's been basically open season on black people by the cops over here. insane. Injust. and FCKED Up.) But - It's the assumptions people don't make about you cause you are born white (he's a criminal, he's a drug dealer, insert racist stereotype). Now...if you are from an all white place like I was, that never comes into play. It's last name. Oh, are you so and so's son/daughter? Or...with that last name he's bound to be a trouble maker like his dad. Until...of course, a person who isn't white comes into town, and they automatically assume the lower position on the totem pole than even the person with the dirty, scoundrel lineage last name.
I'm from a hick town, I got out. I went through my thinking I'm better then everyone there phase. Then, I survived other struggles, and grew up and stopped being like that. I do recognize privilege - BUT - and like you said about the angry feminist - what probably drives you crazier than anything, is when someone richer, whiter, more educated, more privileged, than you brings up privilege, preaches it.
Gag, right? It's become a buzzword, and sometime sort of taken over by those who (ironically) are the most privileged of all and they use it as a weapon against whoever disagrees with them.
The person I discussed this the other day absolutely hated my insinuating that he had any privilege at all - though, he did (in my opinion). He felt it takes away from his achievements...I disagree. Privilege - like everything else is relative. It can also be used for good or for bad or for nothing. It doesn't take away from accomplishments. But I think it's useful to be aware of - specifically when discussing world affairs or certain aspects of racial and social injustices in a given society.
I like intersectionality; I like humanity. And I think, in a post race world, they are the ideal. They should be the goal, I agree. But - again, it's the global stage where privilege isn't being rich - it can be as simple as mandatory schooling from childhood, being able to access information freely online and having that skillset, etc.
I think the term privilege simply needs to be rethought :-)
I read both your comments. Lovely, truly lovely. I grew up like you, what you would call a hick town, us in the UK would call Council Estate heaven, I think that's similar in class, education and whatnot. It was different with us though, we mixed with the Pakistanis, the Jamaicans and the Indians, we broke bread and went to the bar with them. One of my best friends in primary school was an African. I do hear you about white privilege though. I've never ever been harrassed because of my colour, like never. I recognise that as a sheer privilege, whereas I watch others defend theirs all the time.
You're right. When those that have had far better opportunity than me start using my born privilege as a weapon against me in an argument it drives me up the fucking wall :) It's just not black and white. It's not. That's why I like intersectionality. I love humanity, I think we should all be working together.
You know I keep seeing those cop videos in America; it's really scary. Don't they train your cops? I remember there was a video released where a UK division was trying to teach an American division how to use tactics against mental health sufferers. A team of at least 10 policemen took down a black axe wielding guy suffering from extreme Mental Health conditions without any voilence. The american comments were such like, "boy, I'd have shot him in the head ages ago" - shit like that is unreal!
Yes, here in America it's nuts. Our cops have just...gone mad. I was actually fairly blind to inequality - in the 'white privilege' sense of the word until I started dating my boyfriend (Dominican American, but in a bi-lingual Dominican family). I really truly used to believe poverty and opportunity was something that was easily changed.
I didn't necessarily think racism was systemic, or that your skin color impacted how authorities treat you (example, hanging outside my boyfriend's family's NYC building - the East Village of NYC - once a poor and drug addled neighborhood, now as hipster as you can get) When a group of white frat boys is loud and drunk at 1 am- banging on walls in the street and grabbing people, it's boys will be boys. When my boyfriend's family and friends are simply standing outside on the stoop, in broad daylight - people make comments or one time even, a random new
white uppity neighbor poked her head out the window and threatened to call the cops if we didn't leave stoop of the building- a cop car drove by, even after my bf told the lady he lived there - and came to 'check things out' cause he 'smelled weed'. (all of downtown nyc smells like weed lol)
The town you grew up in was clearly multi cultural - and that's interesting too, and really where getting 'white privilege ' thrown at you can be upsetting. I'm sure the non white friends you had were from similar socio economic backgrounds, maybe you (and they) felt 'more in this together' than anything - or didn't even really think about racial aspects.
Sometimes these 'intellectual' dialogues just start shit lol. And - talk about privilege and arrogance - it's usually the most privileged coming up with these narratives - used to 'defend minorities' - but that in and of itself is insulting and condescending - I call it armchair activism. To assume a group needs them - a white savior - to be the voice of their community.
Your post really made me think. Thanks for that. You're right. It isn't black and white - and while I don't know what the solution is - I know creating more divides isn't it. :-)
You've also opened my eyes to a different world there. Before I moved in with the wife I had Eastern European neighbours that played loud music until all evening, and that was just accepted I guess. Not tolerated, but accepted that a group of young lads would get up to shit. I'd often hear my direct neighbour banging on the roof with her broom handle yelling at those boys to "shut the fuck up" and those neighbours were Jehovas Witnesses and as white as you can get.
I get the white saviour on a throne thing. I see a lot of that, and it's usually from someone that wants to be known as such. It also feeds into the same ideology, that an underprivileged society was squashed by their white masters, are now being 'saved' by their white masters. It's stupid really. The real groundwork is done out of the public eye when no-one is paying attention and through a collective of people from all walks of life. That's true activism.
Racism is bad in America, I understand that. You guys have a sort of privileged white culture that I probably wouldn't understand even if I tried to. Some of the shit I see is unreal.
I speak in idealist terms. Whilst I say that we all need to work together I know through practical experience that not everyone is at the same mindset as me, but like everything, the solution will always present itself when someone takes the initiative and the other group weilds. Hope it does soon :)
Absolutely. And yeah, America was quite literally built on racism. All that said - even if we were all the same color, society would find ways to divide us (obviously - there was no bonding over being white in my home town - it was class and last name).
I think, at a certain level, racism starts to disappear and is replaced by classism. In that sense - everyone who isn't the 1% is slaves to them, and it's one thing more have in common than don't.
More people need a mind set like you! I'd love to come back and visit earth (if it's still here) and like...500 years. I wonder if it will be a post racial society - and if it is, what will the new 'ism be?
As Jehovah's witness as you can get LOL. Two randomly showed up at my door the other day - My boyfriend engaged them in a conversation and then tried to convert THEM to Buddhism. Funniest thing ever. Needless to say...they haven't come back.
You open up a whole new discussion. It's something that I wonder. If we were all the same what would we find to compare ourselves to one another. At my school when we all had the same uniform and free school meals were hidden it was the type of shoes you wore. Kids were bullied for their shoes and how they acted on the playground.
All in all I think it boils down to if you're happy or not. Those of us that are unhappy, angry or sad, usually tend to focus on something that's different to them to point out, fix or even humiliate. It's so much easier than facing the broken that is inside.
Those of us that are truly happy, I'd say I was, look to create more happiness and unison in the world, and those of us that have been trying to do it for a very long time, like me, understand that universal happiness is, for now, an idealism. Yet I think it could be achieved! Maybe in a billion years, if we haven't wiped ourselve sout hahaha
Hey Ray, nice piece of writing, growing up in South Africa and having spent over 5 years in the UK. (where I arrived in 2008 just in time for the financial crisis) I can sure relate to your story. Let's hope steemit is a step in the right direction for humanity. Down with Austerity!
Thanks :)
Very enlightening. We all have stories to tell. Let's be thankful enough for the air we breathe.
Yes! Let's :)