I thought I was normal. I mean, every geek is a bit socially awkward, right? Well, having anxiety is quite normal as a lot of people have it. It holds you back and places rocks in your path everywhere you go; work, relationship or simply going outside. You can accept and manage it – or at least, some of the time.

In the picture above you can see my mascot, it keep me going and follows me wherever I go :)

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This is part 2 of my powerkit for dealing with depression & Anxiety. I want to share the valuable information I picked up along the way, in the hope it will help others the same as it did to me. If you recognize yourself or someone you love in this, please read or share with them. No one needs to face demons alone. For those who haven't read part 1, here is a short recap:

Anxiety & Depression

These are the most common symptoms of PTSD (a part of many) so that is why I will start by covering them first. Though they appear when you have PTSD, they are not unique for it. Meaning, you can have BPD or "just" ADHD or nothing at all - and still suffer from anxiety/depression. These two symptoms usually go together, sneaky pair, one fuels the other to an infinite loop. To break the loop, we must learn how it works inside of us, explore our personal powerkit and change our thought patterns.

For more, read on: https://steemit.com/life/@rainbowdash/my-powerkit-for-living-with-depression-and-anxiety-part-1

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Anxiety

What is anxiety?

It comes in various levels of intensity, most severe of them stops you, well, from being you. While it usually torments your head, in many cases it affects the body too, with anxiety attacks. How can anyone succeed when their brain keeps telling them they are going to fail, with flying colors? Well, it's no picnic but who promised life is a rose garden? Along with the sunshine, there's gotta be a little rain sometimes ;)

Why anxiety is necessary

We tend to brush off feelings such as fear or sadness as "bad feelings" we shouldn't feel, but they are a part of us and they are here for a reason. There are here to protest us and to signal something is wrong and what protected us from danger throughout the centuries.

How do you think with anxiety?

Like a super hero, you are able to jump to the worse possible outcome in a single second! Anxiety usually revolves around being worried from the future. You tell yourself you are just being realistic but you torment yourself on something that might not even happen or at least, not SO horribly wrong.

Anxiety attacks

What are anxiety attacks?
These attacks are your mind & body signaling you that you are in danger. After PTSD specifically, your brain and body recognize certain sights, smells and sounds to the traumatic event and something ordinary can trigger your anxiety, alerting you. It means your body acts as if you are in danger even if it isn't the case. Basically what happens in your body is that it pumps you up to get ready for danger, based on your automatic reply – flight, flee or freeze mechanism.

How does it feel to have one?
When I had my first big anxiety attack, I was triggered by a simple cab ride. My denial wore off for some time and something in the situation reminded me a cab driver that once harassed me. That cab driver however, didn't even try to make eye contact or small talk. I remember keep telling myself I'm ok and that there is nothing to worry about but by the time I got out of that short cab ride, I could hardly walk over to the closest wall. Tears were flooding my eyes while my body shivered with sweat. I didn't know what was going on. I thought I was going crazy. Why wasn't my body listening to my infamous logic?

Most who experience this, describe it as a heart attack or difficulties of breathing. Sweating, shaking an vomiting are also common- looking at Richard from Silicone Valley puking every time he hits a milestone with his company really grasps what it's like.

Is this forever?
It doesn't have to be. Some may experience it just once in their life, some may suffer it on a regular basis, some are triggered to it if they have PTSD. Problem is, it's a vicious circle. You become afraid that you will have another attack, thus getting yourself "ready to go boom" again.

How do you deal?
Breathing techniques can reduce the physical anxiety in your body that yells something goes wrong. Then the rest is up to keeping yourself calm while you let the surge goes through you. For most people it lasts only a few minutes so you know it will be over soon. Focus on breathing and patiently waiting for it to pass. Than drink something, have some dark chocolate (honestly, it helps! Dark, not milk), relax. Remember, this drains your energy so it is no surprise if you will immediately feel tired and emptied. Take the time to refill it.

Do you think you have anxiety?

Check yourself with an online test and if it raises suspicion- get it officially diagnosed.
http://psychologytoday.tests.psychtests.com/take_test.php?idRegTest=1597

How do you live with anxiety?

It's not easy changing something you always did and think so be patient. Seek for a combination of physical and mental balance. Your body, mind and emotions are all connected. If you work on only 1 part, it will take longer and harder for it to get to the other parts.

Physically: Reducing stress

1. Caffeine. Yeah, I know, you probably chug down 3-6 coffee cups or energy drinks a day, at least. You think it calms you down but it increases your stress levels in the long run. Try to cut down on days your anxiety is yelling too hard but if you can reduce it down to 1 a day, that would be best. Herbal tea can replace the need of a hot drink while helping to reduce stress on it's on.
2. Nutrition. Eating healthy and regularly helps but you can add foods that are known for reducing stress. Dark chocolate and nuts work for me but there are others – google it and try those you like!
3. Drink water. It has many other benefits too. I have a horrible water regime so I try using mobile apps that remind me to drink or carry a bottle on me at all times but still having trouble adding it to my routine.
4. Sleeping regularly. I know that on days I haven't slept much I will be much more tense and could "break down" easily.
5. Alternative medicine. Yoga, acupuncture, healing circles and so on.
6. 
   Animals. These furry creatures are a blessing - silly and comforting. Thanks @jupiter00000 for reminding me!
7. WHATEVER MAKES YOU RELAX. Many things I suggested in part 1 for depression work for anxiety as well.

Mentally: Changing thought patterns.
Some people are naturally optimistic. Their body and thought patterns are programmed to believe everything will work out in the end. However, when you have anxiety and depression, you believe everything will go horribly wrong. With this core belief, you walk around, make connections, jobs, romance… and it affects everything. Self-esteem, the way you talk to people and the way you talk about yourself. That’s is why it takes so long to change what's in the box. It is so rooted in our mind we never noticed how it affected us.
Notice yourself. Notice how you react to others, how they react to you, where your mind goes on different situations and interactions… Now that you understand how anxiety and depression think and feel inside of you, you can start facing them. Acknowledge them and move on.

When you notice you worry about something that didn't even happen yet, that you will get fired, dumped and so on – tell yourself- this is just my anxiety talking! It's worried things will go wrong but they can go equally well too, we don't know yet. Then depression will rear its ugly, sad head and will try to tell you that you will fail because you always failed. Anxiety and depression together will tell you that you fail. Depression tries to prove it with past events and anxiety with future events. When you recognize these voices, you recognize the lies. It slowly becomes easier to hear yourself without anxiety and depression distracting you from fulfilling yourself.