Stalking and the illusion of being in control

in #life8 years ago

Tim and Mary met at a restaurant in the dark and fall in love only by little time talking.Willing to win Mary, Tim uses his power to travel back in time to rediscover it. Drawing a parallel with the real life, it is increasingly more difficult to submit to meet someone without any appeal, feel a genuine connection and persists in a person.


Image of the film "Matter of Time"

In the movie Matter of Time, Tim discovers on his birthday of 21 years that men of the family have the power to travel back in time. Years later, already living in London, he goes into a restaurant in the dark ,called "Dans Le Noir", where he meets Mary and falls in love with her only for the time in which they talked. The interest is so great that he does everything to find it again and see held such passion. The film raises several messages, such as the relationship between father and son, the weight that choices have on the lives, how we interfere in the lives of others and among others. However, the scene of the restaurant, in which two people fall in love without knowing absolutely nothing from each other, made me think on how difficult it is something similar happens nowadays.

The stalking is the practice of investigating a person on social networks. Generally, someone that you have interest. You find out what the political opinion of another, what kind of music she likes, what genre of film choice, which the sign, who are the relatives... just can't figure out if the other has an interest in you as well. But depending on your intention, this is not a problem since the data of your search can be used to your advantage and facilitate any loving involvement, however minimal. If crush like Arctic Monkeys, you will find a way to bring that conversation, or was found amazing Fight Club, you will only watch to have to comment. Only careful not to blurt out something that he or she has not said directly to you.

The romanticism and up to the tom moody of blind date was lost. Knowing another person without any prior information seems absurd.Even though it appears an exception saying that i would love a meeting of this kind,I doubt that would search the Facebook profile of the other on mobile phone while conversed.Where is, then, the grace of discovery and delight in knowing the other if you anticipate this process? Do not dive, just wets the feet feeling to know the whole ocean.

Knowing the basics is not the problem. The obsession to know everything indirectly, yes. You can get to the point of being just idealizing a person. Thus, the desire to do work can be confused with an interest more real and end up leaving in limbo of love: the type unidirectional, the platonic. But this is only one of the possibilities that the stalking can cause.

We are part of a generation which has as its characteristic to the field of information. And the negative aspects that end up being seen in some detail; as the constant fear of failure, self collection by success in all areas of life, the paranoia of being always ahead and the pair of everything, the status of monitoring and analysis of the other so that nothing exhaust, the disgust or distrust to what is not solid or verifiable and among other variables. All this is reflected in the way that we build our relationships.

We want to have control. On our emotions, situations, the ties rights etc. Being vulnerable is a risk. Avoid it is a form of protection. Between getting to know the other directly or indirectly there is no "right" or "wrong", in fact, it is a new setting in which we live and we learn to cope. Who delights, pursues its interests. Who does not see this practice work for himself, tries to stop or decrease with the stalk.

In the end, what matters is not exactly you go to a romantic dinner with all data in the palm of your hand, but what do you do about it when there is a connection. Getting to know the other can be fascinating. Live with who you think fascinating, even more. Persists, through any means, is what matters in this case. It was what Tim did with Mary and won ... Although it has made use of time travel. That's what Tim did with Mary conquering it ... Although it has made use of time travel.