Fear of having a child, a child is an obstacle to happiness?
Child is an obstacle to happiness?
Quality of life and satisfaction are two important factors in the continuity of life. Perhaps the level of satisfaction with life is so important to you that under no circumstances do you miss this comfort and prevent the child from being able to maintain this prosperity. Childhood has many benefits. However, it should be noted that at the same time creating changes in the structure of your relationship with your spouse. For example, your responsibilities will be greater and will involve much of your emotional, emotional energy and time.
Many women give all their attention to the baby's birth, and their minds and minds become children. It may be less relevant to your spouse's emotional and sexual needs. But you should note that the inseparable part of having a life is refreshing, having fun and spending time with your spouse. Of course, men must also have active participation in the maintenance and upbringing of the child. So managing and planning helps you get rid of the fear of having children.
Fear of being mother or afraid of becoming a father
Perhaps the fear of having a child is shared with you and your spouse, and both are in line with the unwillingness to have children. But when you're just one of you tend to have a baby, you will be faced with more stress and strain. Maybe you have a great progress as a woman, and worried that you would not be able to reach your desired job and education level, do not like to leave your work or study for the child, or if you are worried as a man after birth Put your spouse in disrepute and turn away, or think that you can not make a good future for your child. In any case, what kind of member of the first group is, the second one is important to analyze your life so that the underlying causes of this fear can be determined.
Analyze the situation and situation
Why is a man not interested in becoming a father despite having financial security? Are you afraid of playing a parent role because you are afraid of lack of parenting skills or because of the uncertainty of continuing to live with your spouse or other problems? Fears should be analyzed, check your unwillingness or your spouse to have a baby. Your mother's mother may be responsible for all matters of child-rearing, in which case she fears that she will not be able to meet her wishes and progress that she expects.
It may be fearful that a child has a deeper root, which, even if all the conditions are favorable, may still be fearful. So you need to talk to your spouse and ask him to think about the reasons for not wanting to have a baby. Knowing precisely the causes of fear helps him to clarify the issue and make more informed decisions.
Causes and roots of fear of having children
Lack of job security and economics
Influencing, having no fixed occupation or job security can be a concern that you and your spouse are afraid of having children. Meanwhile, you are afraid that you will not be able to pay for it, and it will be harder to get pregnant with the arrival of the baby. Childbearing undoubtedly has costs like childbirth costs, and the necessary expenses for baby food, clothing and school.
Not having support around
Maybe your wife thinks that she does not have the support of her family or your spouse to give birth. This concern can be financially or child-friendly. Of course, couples who support this tend to be more likely to have a baby or at least reduce their stress levels.
changing life style
Urbanization and immigration to major cities have changed people's lifestyles and reduced their willingness to have a child. Increasing the level of education and employment of women is also a major contributor to reducing the inclination to have children.
Existence of tension and marital conflicts
In the early years of marriage, especially for the first five years, there are disagreements and conflicts that increase the likelihood of divorce, but then the couples reach a relative stability. Perhaps these differences made your spouse calm and stable to decide on a child. These tensions will erode the trust and confidence that is needed for a child to decide. So postpone the baby.
Lack of mental security
Your husband may not be reluctant to have a child due to a mental disorder such as depression. Because a person who is depressed thinks with herself that I myself suffer this life, and now a child is born to experience these conditions. In fact, his depression makes him lose his interests to many things, so he does not want to have a baby.
Lack of parenting skills
Sometimes it's fear of having a baby because of the injuries you inflict upon a child. Parental dissatisfaction and the tensions that a person has with his or her parents even in adulthood does not have an interest in having children. Such a person thinks that his child will have his experiences and will eventually become more vulnerable to having a child.
The troubles of working women
Today, many women are employed and their income is needed to continue living. Even if the woman's income is not high, she needs her job to grow her character and satisfy her identity and desire for improvement.
If your spouse feels that you are not involved with the child's upkeep, your child's concern will intensify. Also, the lack of proper rules will make many women do not have children because they can not solve this problem.
Fear of pregnancy
Perhaps because of changes that make pregnancy in the woman's body, or pre-natal bodily pain and pain