RE: Rolling In The Deep

This reminds me of the time I named my dog, Kitty. Now hear me out. You see, the neighbor used to go outside every frickin night at three in the goddamn morning to stand there in his tighty whities, have a smoke, and call all his kitties in. Here kitty kitty kitty! Every fucking night.

Even when he tried whispering it was annoying.

So I got this big ass dog and named him Kitty. Every night the guy would go out and call his cats. Within two seconds the dog would run outside and start barking his head off until the guy shut up and went inside.

It went on like that for a few months.

One night I'm sound asleep and there's someone banging at my door. It's the po po. Neighbor called the cops because of my "noisy dog". Man I was pissed off. So I explained as best I could to these police...

Officers. The truth is. Every night for the past few months. Ever since I got this dog. That gentleman next door has been waking up at three in the goddamn morning just to harass my dog. He's out there calling his name every night. What do you honestly expect to happen? And if I close the latch on his door he just breaks through because this man is relentless!

So the cops go to his place. Seconds later he's yelling at me from his yard, calling me a bullshitter. So I said listen here you I have this all recorded. So I showed the cops the video and then the dog's information. Says right here name = Kitty.

Problem solved.

^{Actually that's all bullshit. Just a dumb joke I wrote years ago. You probably heard it already, and I used to tell it better. Just thought I'd add a disclaimer since there are crazy people around not able to comprehend and require an explanation.}

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meesterboom (80) 3 years ago

That's what I hate about crazy nutjobs. Humour is impossible for them to understand. They see insult and dark meaning in everything!

I think I have seen that one before but it was all the more pleasurable being reacquainted with it! And that's the great thing about good fucking jokes!

Crazy gone quiet. Probably writing a big dumbass post again. For his fan. And I mean that singular 🤣🤣

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nonameslefttouse (76) 3 years ago

I like that joke but it wasn't the full version. I had other lines in the joke.
How the other neighbors were pissed because their toddler is saying, "Nice Kitty" to a dog so they thought their kid was special...

sigh

I miss telling jokes. Writing them is like sculpting thoughts. Never knowing if it's actually funny until people laugh. You have one shot at this. Don't fuck it up.

If it goes well, not only are you rewarded with the feeling of accomplishment and a job well done, but you get to sit and enjoy the company of happy people.

I miss happy people.

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meesterboom (80) 3 years ago (edited)

Happy people abound. Just have to take no notice of the sadbaws in life. The mute button helps 😛

I think you should knock out a good joke post or two. You have a talent man. No shitting. Sometimes it's good to ignore the wankery. Besides all that shit drags you down. Blockchains are for fun not just ~~hardforks~~ Christmas 😀

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nonameslefttouse (76) 3 years ago

All is well.

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meesterboom (80) 3 years ago

That feels Christmas carol'y.

I feel I should be getting presents

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