Dark wash? is this a new politically correct term for a coloured wash? Obviously we can't say white wash anymore as it's far too middle class and privileged but perhaps 'clothes of Asian origin' wash may be better?
Anyway, obviously you're an enlightened household. Allowing your wife access to your tools is very 'millennial man' but in your case, a painful lesson on why we need to return to traditional roles in the nuclear family.
Wishing you all the best and hoping your Doritos remain crispy and cheesy and your wife didn't attempt some 'emergency repairs' to your Xbox, or any other box for that matter :-)