I thought I would make a blog update since many of my followers responded to my initial post (https://steemit.com/life/@natevegas/yes-i-am-a-caretaker-what-exactly-does-that-mean) with so many positive comments, well wishes, and encouragement.
This weekend taking care of my grandmother left me filled with so many emotions I'll do my best to explain how I'm doing at this point. The overall situation is worse with her dementia. It's getting to the point where her mood swings jump sometimes within 2-4 minutes as well as her cognitive abilities are losing ground.
Let me backtrack 7 weeks ago - she had a bad fall in the house and fell forward on her chest trapping her hands underneath. The fall ended up costing her a broken hand on her right hand (had to wear a soft cast) while her wrist was broken in 2 places on her left had that was in a hard cast. Those fractures healed up correctly without surgery thankfully but her doctor said even if surgery was required she wouldn't have authorized it due to her overall health. Those casts are now off however her strength is much weaker in both of those lower areas of her arms.
Friday
Ok back to this weekend everything was going alright in the kitchen I had just made a fresh pot of coffee and in the time I had to use the restroom she was pouring the fresh coffee down the sink. When I asked her to stop doing this she immediately became not only hateful but violent and tried to hit me with her cane. I grabbed the cane from her because I wasn't going to let her hit me with it. She continued being violent and slapped me pretty good across the face (I'm fine ain't nothing but it hurt me emotionally more). Showing her teeth and yelling at me the whole time I did the only thing I could think of and restrained her holding her elbows and her against the sink telling her in a stern voice over and over to stop, just stop, just stop... After a short time she did and went back to take a nap after she worked herself up.
Saturday
This day again started out fine, breakfast and lunch went well and she ate good even sat up in the front room for a while to watch a baseball game. During that time mom and I decided while she was distracted to strip her bed and wash her sheets. We couldn't find her extra ones so she had to wait to nap until the current ones were clean. That bit of news didn't go over well either. She said she was going to go lay down and proceeded to toss a bunch of stuff in her room around. Then after laying down she got up and proceeded to talk in stuttering speech while carrying a pillow heading to the hallway bathroom. Each time she did this we turned her around and told her that's the bathroom her bedroom in the room next to it. The evening ended with her having a clean bed and not too much fuss.
Sunday
Today was bad from the start. After breakfast we told her some of her bills for her share of groceries and she was content saying she'd go get the money. Then more problems arose because with our help we found the envelope she has her monthly funds to pay for her bills with but the money was gone. You can probably guess she moved it, and forgot where, and that's exactly what she's been doing. At night my room which is opposite her room I sometimes her her banging around at all hours opening drawers, closet doors, and shuffling things all around. Mom and I looked for a long time but we gave up for now to find it. Only she knows where it is and she can't remember or able to understand. Lately she's been doing this with other items like books, puzzles, pens, and nail products. While we were searching she got hostile at times and accused us of stealing it, then changing her story to we are working against her. She accused me multiple times saying I'm always in her room which I'm not but when I am in there I'm helping her and would never do such a thing.
I know this isn't really her and that I have to remember the lady she was that helped to raise me but it is becoming very hard especially with a frustrating weekend like this. At this point all I can do is shrug it off and take things day by day. Years ago when I was finishing high school I volunteered at a retirement nursing home and saw some of this but seeing it and then having it on a daily basis in your home is nothing I could have prepared for.
Thanks @papa-pepper is the 5th pile from the newest pepper too? :)
I feel for you, Nate. My mother-in-law, in her late stages of dementia, had a tendency to be quite active in the middle of the night. We would wake the next morning to find the waste basket in her bedroom filled with ripped up family photos. It was heart-breaking for my husband to sift through remains, question his mother about them, and then listen to her state that he would have no use for them. We were also accused of stealing from her. She would wheel around the house with her handbag draped on her walker. It never left her side. Then came the accusations we were trying to kill her. Just a sad deal all the way around. I hope that your mom has medical power of attorney of her mother in order. At this late stage of her illness, you pretty much need to take over every facet of her well being. Prayers to your and your family.
Thanks yeah there is no easy answers when the mind is leaving like that. That's horrible you telling me that story of her ripping pictures apart because you can't replace those.
Hugs, that sounds rough. I am glad you are sharing, getting it off of your chest is a good thing.
Hugs thanks yeah hope the community gets that. I'm usually upbeat but after a weekend like this I'm only human after all.
Most welcome, Venting is a good thing.
After a weekend like that, sounds like coffee and chilling in a cherry grove is a good idea.
Just be you, being a real human is also a good thing.
It can be hard, tough and frustrating, especially when it's someone close to you. Sharing helps ease the pain, stay strong brother !
Yep I am thanks.
That must be rough. Hopefully you can use your blog to "let out steem" in a positive way.
I intend to yes venting is necessary sometimes.