Over 6 months have gone by and I just cannot believe that any of that happened. I really can't believe it.
This is a story that doesn't have a happy ending.
What did I learn?
True human empathy does not exist; People will do what's best for themselves 10/10 times; "Doing the right thing" has no real merit or value; and that the best way to be is selfish. Put yourself first and do what's best for you ALWAYS, if you're not already doing this then you're behind. Don't help others unless there's some benefit for you. Nobody will care or help you if you're in dire straits and have nothing to offer.
The world will keep right on turning even if you don't show up for your life. You are the rule. We all die alone and unfulfilled, terrified of the future and what happens after we die. We are all broken, tormented people and not even death can alleviate this because death is terrifying and unknown. Nobody can save us and it doesn't matter anyway.
This is the state you left me in