hahahaha ok so I have gone through a cycle in my life, growing up as a kid I liked to play with everything, creatures furry and insects alike, although I still liked to use magnifying glasses on the ants, and blow darts and bb guns on the birds. One day I shot a white dove that was in the tree. It was still alive after shooting, it. I felt so bad! we tried to nurse it back to health, but no luck. I hung up my bb gun for good. I do really feel bad for animals that become road kill. Roadkill Cafe anyone? anyone? I know you want some....okay I digress. I even usually try to capture the crickets in my house and let them out, and any Bees, because I have a garden they would be much happier in, then my house. Spiders....well yeah sometimes I catch and release them too. Depending on my mood. Again, you masterfully took an everyday experience and turned it into a hilarious post. Something I have come to expect. Good job mate!