The bike scene has really made this a common question for myself. I interact with more dudes now than ever. I never believed that the men and women could just be friends. There was always a dude trying to date me and couldn’t be just friends. Those “friendships” didn’t last either and also my exes always said they had girls as just friends. However, it ended up being more than a friendship. So I really have not had great experience with men and women remaining just friends until I met Lars @kommienezuspadt and Jamie the guy who helped me build my stunt bike. Jamie never even asked me to pay him - he just literally helps everyone with their bikes.
Pic Below is Jamie aka R1
I remember moving to the cities and not knowing a lot of people. I tried making friends with women but we never "clicked" and the relationships didn't last. I always see these "girl squads" and never have found one of my own. I also keep to myself and don't speak much around new people. Which may make me seem stuck up but really I am just shy. Also, a lot of girls here I noticed around my age love to go out and drink. It's hard to find people in general that enjoy doing activities together versus just going to get drunk. Which I don't drink so I never cared for that environment.
Golden Girls are squad goals haha
I always gravitated toward guys since I get along with them better. The trouble is they usually ended up wanting more out of our friendship or they would cross the lines trying to make it more than a friendship. I never really thought I would have a great group of dudes to call my friends.
I did notice that randomly I was becoming attracted to my friend Red. We spent a lot of time together and he definitely is not my type but he was so nice and helpful. I never had someone help me so much and I found that really attractive. I guess my previous boyfriends have been pretty selfish if I needed something they were not there. Anyway the lot drama happened and I lost interest because if he can't have my back as a friend then what good would he be as a boyfriend? I know that may seem petty but the funnier part is he wanted me last year and I cut him off because I wasn't into him then. I felt like he was too interested and we couldn't just be friends. I also didn't know how to tell him that and wasn't totally sure if I needed to. I guess I don't know where we stand and I do miss being close with him so blah yeah. Pic taken by meee!
Currently my dude friends include: Kbone, Red, House, Matt, Lars, Geo, Christian, and Jamie(R1). These are the main dudes I chat with and hang out with. Red and I kinda became distant since the drama at the lot as I mentioned. Kbone and I actually have gotten closer though. I hung out with him one random day and it was just nice to chat with someone who comes from his walk of life. He also was showing me how to paint my plastics – so be on the lookout for a bike painting blog!! I also hit him up about the Xgames and he wanted to go sooo we are going to go. Should be a great time! I will document and share that too =D. Kbone doing a burnout below
House is someone kinda liked in 2012 and we met again at this bike event last year. He had a girlfriend and recently told me he is single. I think he is still interested and even though he is tall and built. I don't find myself wanting him or again really any dude. I am in a great space and I think any sort of relationship like that will ruin my fun. Also, I enjoy hanging out with these guys way more as friends than if I was interested in them. Now I can't explain that other than probably having expectations and then they usually fall flat. He told me recently that I am attractive and he wants to watch me do wheelies sometime this week. I don't know what to think about him since we haven't been friends that lot.
What’s interesting is I told my roommate “I don’t feel attracted to anyone” she laughed and said “you’re asexual??” haha I thought that was funny. I guess I am sort of number and distant from the whole relationship crap that my ability to befriend dudes is wayyyyy better now than it was. I never knew how to handle dudes coming at me about dating and stuff. Now I think over time I have been able to convey right away that that’s not what I am about. Which is GREAT! I love having men as just friends since we get along really well. I do have girlfriends but they’re not interested in a lot of the hobbies I like. The difference is that I can sleep over at my girlfriends in her bed but I couldn't do this with a male friend. I find so many things interesting and I observe them then contemplate on it. This is one I always come back to since I deal with it so often.
Pic: This is Christian and I going for a late night ride in I think February or March? Super cold ride home
Share your thoughts on platonic relationships between men and women! I find it interesting to hear others stories on this as well. The challenges and success of having those bonds that are strictly friendships are something special. I think it reflects respect and genuine care for another by being able to be just friends. I do find it difficult to maintain male friendships once they start dating a girl ( or vice versa)because suddenly I become a “threat” even though nothing was ever going on or would. It is definitely a struggle and the older I get the more I realize what is really important in my relationships. Although writing this just made me realize I only really take selfies with girls or @kommienezuspadt and not my friends I listed. That's a funny observation hahaha :)
Also, tell me anything you want to learn about or have me share more of! I will be posting a video and blog about riding my horse bareback, sanding/prepping to paint my stunt bike and art!! My schedule is changing so I will push through to keep posting <3
xx moony
This is my longest friend since we were 16years old! She is really great <3 and obviously not a dude hah :P
Sources:
Golden Girls via Getty Images
man and woman can not be friends. I had this discussion with a friend of my a year ago. It turned he refused to listen to me and went on vacation with her as friend.
It was his worst vacation ever xD
@Bulkygangsta We can't assume off of one situation that it is impossible. Since I have male friends and we are strictly platonic. It takes time to find these types of individuals.
yeah you friendzoned them...
Btw nice posts, I will follow you. What bike do you drive and how do you protect your bike against crashes?
I had a friend once shoved me a definition of the word 'platonic' and told me to my face.. 'that's what we are!'. I don't know if she was having feelings then and had to rationalize things but I do think a man and a woman can be platonic. I know of a couple of friends who are too. Both are straight good looking individuals but when they are together, they just click as friends. They've spent a night in a hotel room after a company event and nothing happened, they just slept together on the bed. Maybe it's a rare thing and if you do find it, treasure it coz friends will stick with you longer than your own kin or romantic partner.
Thanks for the great post and pics! Really enjoyed reading it.
@Cryptokash I agree that friends last longer! I do cherish the friendships I have with these guys. It's nice when people share these stories to help support that it is possible!
Thanks for replying back! I think you have a cool life, enjoy your youthfulness and your friendships.
Fantastic post, I upvoted you...also, please enjoy a virtual Wonka Bar.
View my latest blog to see if your Wonka Bar matches a golden ticket worth 5 SBD.
Of course they can. But why? :D
Why not?
Can't be platonic if my friends are wearing side-braids @moony :P
@kommienezuspadt HAH! My hair is too long to be anything else with this heat wave! :P
Enjoyed your thoughts!! Happens for me all the time. Friends come in all races and sexes.
@Greensitez Thank you! Yes they do and the more diverse the better !!
yea ofc they can =)
As a female with 90% of my friends being male I say it is definitely possible :)
@Shadowreader Yes! Glad to hear it!!
Like what my dad always said, "there's no such thing as a guy friend, eventually one will start to have feelings". I'm that girl that hang out with dudes and totally get along with them. Most of them will act like a best friend and when they get that courage, they go for the kill. Learned it the hard way and now I can't be close to any dude that I think is a "friend".
@Joytotheworld I am sorry that has happened to you - and it has to me as well. I just don't let it discourage me from trying to meet and befriend other men. There's always good amongst the bad.
Humans are strange....*....I'm sure it's possible, but it hardly works for me
@Drewley Just have to surround yourself around the right people!
Ofcours men and women can be platonic. But that in case sensitivity depends on the current situation that is at hand. And mainly dependa on the persons persona archetypes and lifestyle. Which are all constructed from from the past experiences when growing up.
So the equation is extremely complex honestly:D
@Vangelov I think it comes down to if individuals respect other humans. I meet a lot of males that are disrespectful toward women and say vulgar things. These guys do not do that but it took time to meet them.
When I was younger I used to tell everyone that I only hung out with guys because they were less dramatic, but that's really not true, everyone is dramatic and gender has nothing to do with it. We are attracted to the things that we find is similar to our own characteristics or keep in company with those we aspire to be. It's really society that fucks with everyone and makes building relationships difficult. People need to be more positive and think less about personal gain.
@Vermillionfox haha yea they are equally dramatic! I dealt with a lot of drama from dudes and being around them I noticed they gossiped just as much as women. I agree personal gain is a center of some of these dudes focus. That's a great way to put it!
It's human nature. 🙄 Sigh.
Nothing wrong with a platonic relation. Only I think that men always want 'something more', it's their natural craving. Except if you find an a-sexual dude that is...
@Mave64 I think chalking it up to "nature" is giving males an excuse to not be disciplined. When women are lustful they are sluts and shamed but when men are it's simply "nature" totally obsurd concept to me. Be respectful and self control are not difficult considering we are intelligent humans well some are I guess since others like a cop out.
You're right, it certainly is a lousy excuse. What I meant is that most men follow their dicks, and don't have any self control. Sometimes I wonder how intelligent the human race really is, looking at the stupid choices the majority makes, take for instance the US election...
Yes, no, maybe so.... All depends on the individuals
@Rawpride yes it does!
Sex has nothing to do with friendship. It all depends on the principles and values of the persons involved. True friends are gold mines, but you have to dig for them. :) I would rather walk alone than compromise my integrity. Choose wisely, because friends are strong influences. Nice pictures. I grew up on bikes my whole life, but in the dirt. :)
@Gatmi I totally agree who you surround yourself with influence you! A lot of these guys smoke but I luckily have 0 interest in that. I know many get hooked on smoking by who they hang around. I have always marched to the beat of my own drum too!
Congratulations. I am happy for you! :)
here is how it goes in terms of evolution. it's our instinct to think about our anti-sex differently than just a friend. that's how we are not extinct yet. so when you have sexual partner as well as your anti-sex friend does in that case friendship is allowed. or maybe when anti-sex "friend" does not attract you as it should be ,maybe not your type than yes. otherwise my answer is no.
@Celestialme I think we can be friends with those we find attractive! I have a few guys I find handsome but I don't want more than friendship with them. Best way to get to know anyone is friendship first! So many rush things to find a significant other as if it is life or death. I use to be like that but then my priorities have changed.
if i got you, you are talking about physical beauty yes? i mean attractive as partner and this is not just physical beauty or attractiveness. if one guy really suits you, you will never say that i don't want anything more than friendship.
Wow You are very brave!
@kam.ila
Over to Plato himself: Only the dead have seen the end of war.
As the male/female relationship is frequently referred to as "the Battle of the sexes" I vote no :)
@Thauerbyi Not sure I agree there is always tension - maybe for the guys but usually not for me. Rarely happens. Yes, I am happy it worked out but it took time to find good dudes!