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RE: Understanding Polyamory: The Five Elements of a Relationship

in #life7 years ago

I really love this article.
I am heterosexual and monogamous. Always have been. Always will be. My husband and I have been friends since high school. We just celebrated 13 years of togetherness and we're both comfortable with each other like our favorite sweater. Admittedly our sex life is practically non-existent but that has never really been a very important factor to our relationship. In fact, 15 minutes of back scratches is absolute heaven and neither of us have to get naked for it. LOL
The funny thing is, he and I always talk about our work wives and husbands because they fill the need for social intimacy. We've had conversations about what would happen if the other died and we kind of came to the same conclusion. We might end up with some kind of communal living arrangement and maybe even a snuggle buddy because we are both affectionate people, but I have no idea how sex would play into that situation. I'm personally okay with self-help on that front. ;)

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As soon as you stop treating sex as that special dirty thing you save for that one chosen person, it turns into something else. Often, a path of self-exploration.
I strongly recommend the book "Mating in Captivity" by Esther Pearl. It talks about the place eroticism lacks in married life.
Also, self-help is wonderful. My back massager moonlights as a quick pain relief device as orgasms help reduce pain levels. And I can't ALWAYS bother my SOs demanding pain-killing orgasms. :)

I haven't said it in a long time but I love you. :D