I looked up as the door to the meeting room opened and did my best not to blinkingly explode into a gabillion wet fleshy pieces at the sight before me.
An astonishingly attractive girl had walked in, giraffe-like, on ridiculously long legs. I think she was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen.
For a moment I wondered if she was real.
I attempted to sit up straight and clear my throat all at once, almost dislodging some back-muck in her direction. Fortunately, I managed to snap my mouth shut just in time.
She shone like a thousand suns. I felt like a spiny worm beside such bewitching beauty.
Hey I know you don't I?
She said with a radiant white-toothed smile.
I tried not to ejaculate or cough or even both at once in response to such dentistry.
Um, no? I don't think so?
My attempt at a friendly return smile was marred somewhat by my feelings of self-consciousness over my poor off-white Scottish teeth.
I felt like a tramp who had just eaten a lump of coal.
She smiled again and tossed her hair over her shoulder in sinewy slow motion. Her teeth glittering like pearls freshly shucked from an oyster and polished.
Oh I do!! We bumped into one another in the lift the other day?
She cried enthusiastically.
I squirmed in embarrassment. Shit, had we? I hoped that I hadn't inadvertently prodded her with a boner. It's not the kind of thing I would do but what if I hadn't even noticed?
Hang on though, maybe I had and now she wanted to shag the living daylights out of me? Hmm...
Really? The lift you say?
I tried to sound suave, even a little debonair but instead I sounded as if I was trying to cough up the hair from an old lady's mitten.
Yeah, it was really packed. You smiled when I joked about it plummeting to the ground and killing us all.
Ha, that rung a bell.
Oh yeah, that old woman asked you to not say such things!
I relaxed a bit. Talk of death and strange accidents I was comfortable with.
Yeah, I thought you had a lovely smile.
I felt faint. Somewhere in my down-belows a bit of pee squirmed to get out.
A what?
My brain was having trouble fathoming what she had just said. A lovely smile...? Eh, did that mean that she didn't want to ferociously shag me after all? Surely there was some mistake?
Yeah! When you laughed it made me laugh and I thought, he's got a lovely smile.
I gulped. Something felt off-kilter. I know I don't have a lovely smile. I have an amusing smile, yes. Indeed, it could be said that I had a cheeky smile but lovely?? Hmm no.
What was her game then?
Rapidly my mind ran through the only possible scenarios that made sense.
She could have been sent by my enemies with instructions to put the moves on me, with the ultimate aim of shagging me to DEATH.
Hmm, possibly.
Or perhaps she wanted to steal my beautiful teeth!?
Holy fucking shit! Yes, that was it. She was after my fucking teeth. How fucking dare she?
I leaned back and studied her with a jaundiced eye. She smiled back alluringly.
At that moment we were interrupted by the door opening again and the boss man, El Jefe, stepping in.
Ahhh! I see you two have met.
He bellowed like a Viking attacking a humpy bedsheet.
Hmm hmm.
I nodded at Teeth Stealer giving her my best peen eye.
She frowned slightly.
I smirked. That's right lady-chick, I'm onto you. I would have taken a good shagging in the line of duty but my teeth??
Oh no... You ain't getting those.
Well you see Boom, women when confronted with a real man just cant help themselves. You see there are not too many of us left and they find it irresistible!
We are all endangered species!!
The things you have o do, all in the line of duty of course, you would hate every moment of it as well. yeah right.
Oh it would be awful, the burdens we bear!!!
I am just thinking about a few things that the good lady would do in the line of duty......
Lol, murder me with a saucepan!
Having fun in SC, busy busy, but if there's anyone I can find a few minutes for it's Me Boom- you do have a lovely smile! Waits 'till he's sleeping, gets out the pliers
Laters!
Oh no, not the pliers... Not again!!!
Hehe, glad you are having fun lass, I will drop by later and see what you are up to. I have been up to my eyes in it myself!!
You've GOT to stop sleeping in those meetings ! LOL....
Wake up !
If I was sleeping she really would have been after my teeth!!
That made no sense whatsoever, and it was great XD
Hehe, cheers, yesterday did feel a bit mad!
O how a women can bewitch a man.....
Oh they can indeed!! Men can be such idiots! Lol
Do you think she was planning to hang them up in her boudoir as some sort of freaky trophy? Nah, that's too freaky. She was definitely going to shag you to death.
I get the feeling you are one of those people that women have no idea whether is good looking or not, because they are completely distracted by how amusing you are.
I think you are very incisive!!
Hehe, my humour has always been a hit that is true. :0)
And yes, perhaps it was a plain death shagging she was after, will, I showed her alright by running away!!
what is it with that little speck of pee that always wants to sneak out at the most inopportune moments anyway?? I think it's a conspiracy.
Too bad you didn't cough up some old lady mitten hair on her....she might not be so keen on gettin' your teeth after all that.
It is a conspiracy! A conspiracy that goes right to the top!
It might have made her worse!
Big smile
A big toothsome one!
I was praying she gave you the shagging that you wanted, but teeth, what a strange women, maybe she works for the tooth fairy? or maybe she is just a kinky freak who get off on teeth.
If your anything like me you will be shagging your good lady later with your eyes closed, (if you know what I mean) hehe
Lol, a gentleman would never close his eyes!! ;0)
Maybe she did work for the tooth fairy! Hehe
I’m wondering how much truth there’s in these stories, something tells me between 10 and 20%, close?
Of course she’s been sent to shag you to death... what else?
Posted using Partiko iOS
Hehe, on a Tuesday and Thursday that ratio is about right on the other days it's the opposite!!
She didn't really want my teeth or to shag me though. She was truly beautiful Sigh
oh now Boomy you should be nice to the lady who knows you could have given her pearly whites a good flossing...hint...hint...lol
upvoted and resteemed
I know I know, one day I will learn!!
Its a wonderful story. Thanks for sharing
The cat miaowed but no-one let it in.
Quite unsettling, but at least I know now that I'm not the only one who experiences vividly sexual thoughts when encountering an attractive person...
Lol, yes, you are not alone in that respect!
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I really interesting history
Posted using Partiko Android
Something made a noise downstairs, panicked he turned to where his wife lay beside him, Did you hear that? he asked hoarsely.
But she wasn't there.
I'm amazed
Posted using Partiko Android
I'm amazed you are commenting on my blog having not voted for it and voting up your own comments.
I tend to flag that kind of shitty behaviour. A friendly warning :0)
Everyone should be free to make any comment on steemit.
Unless he asked your vote, your rude comment wasn't necessary.
He can comment all he wants but I called him out on his self voting behaviour so go and take a fuck to yourself.
How's that for rude! :0D
Oh and don't think anyone doesn't know that you are probably one and the same person
#update - looks like an alt created to double up on a competition. Flagged for being a dick face
Just keep doing it, pretending that you're better than other when you're not.
It's not my business.
I don't care about you.
There are better folks to follow here.
So you flag my post. That is the game you want to play? Perhaps I will take a visit to your blog and do a bit of flagging back.